There's no right way or wrong way of traversing the IVF journey - and every person's experience is different.

But what I found is that Nicola did so much of the load bearing. She was doing the work of the man and the woman! (Well, I did a bit of the man thing at the start). She sacrificed her body, ate a strict diet, went out of her mind with worry, and just generally took on a massive physical and mental burden.

I wanted to help the best I could - and I found that I could best help by being a strong foundation for our journey. When Nicola thought dark thoughts, I tried to be there to support. When worries were at their highest, I tried to comfort her. I’m very proud to say that I did my bit by staying consistent and strong for us both. I’m not saying that I couldn’t show my emotions and I’m not saying that I needed to be a super-human robot. But I felt it was the best way to help, being a rock for Nicola when she couldn’t be (usually due to a crazy amount of drugs in her system!!).

One of my foundation/rock/support duties was to look after the finances. IVF isn’t cheap! Especially when you’ve exhausted the support of the NHS. Depending on your circumstances and needs, you can easily use up £5,000 on a couple of attempts. For me (and everyone is different), I needed to know that we could afford the next go. What ever go we were on, I could reassure Nicola that we could go on forever, as long as I knew that we had the next round paid for at the back of my mind.

Knowing that we could afford the next cycle allowed me to relax and be the support to Nicola that I needed to be. But if it ever got to the situation where I wasn’t sure about the money, then I wouldn’t have been as rock-steady for Nicola. And if that happened, I imagine that would have had a negative effect on her - and a negative effect on our chances.

We had incredible support from family and friends. And we even had a very generous offer of financial support from our family. And it was that offer that made things easier - knowing that we wouldn’t have to dip into other savings/earnings to fund another go. Even if we didn’t use that money - just knowing it was an option made things easier.

So I’d like to pay that generosity forward by taking something from the plate of the next team (single person or couple!) who are looking to conceive through IVF.

If we can raise £1000 so that they know the next go is covered (well, mostly covered!), then I feel it will not only increase the chances of this cycle working (due to less pressure) but it will take away just one little bit of stress for them.

And ideally they won’t need the support at all as this go will be a success!

And if they want to, when the time is right, they can look to help another couple by supporting the fundraising in the future.