Hi guys, I would love you all to donate some of your hard-earned cash to me because I absolutely cannot be bothered to get a job. I find work so utterly tiresome! It's such a BORE and in any case, I dedicate so much of my time and energy to fighting fascists on Twitter, I have very little time for anything else.

Father's allowance came through as usual this month, but I had already spent a good chunk of it taking my chums out for a slap up meal at The Square (yes, I know it's a tad on the expensive side, but their Poulette "Cour D'armoise" is simply to die for!)

£690 would allow me to renew my Luxury Wellness Yoga Spa subscription, and I'll also be able to splash out on a darling little pair of cufflinks I saw in Selfridges last week. Honestly they are just delightful and at only £205 they are an absolute steal. Can't wait to wear them when I'm strutting my stuff at Shoreditch House.

(I love these cufflinks)

So get to it and start throwing some dosh my way! I'll be ever so grateful and I promise to do some seriously intense virtue-signalling next week when I'm back from my Vienna trip. Jarvis x