I was diagnosed with Severe Postnatal Depression and Anxiety after the birth of my daughter. This took me by surprise as I was so delighted to be pregnant. But when she came, it was like a light switch, something changed. I felt totally detached from her and did not want her anywhere near me. I would cry to my mum, begging her to take my baby away from me. I decided it was me or my baby. If she was to stay, then I was to go. I became suicidal. In those first few months I could not sit still, I could not eat, I could not hold down a conversation and worst of all I could not sleep. During the nights all I would do was rock and scream as my Mum and husband cradled me. My body was overcome with fear, anxiety and worry. I was terrified of my own daughter. I was also petrified to leave the house with her. The thought of going out with a baby alone would result in me being a shaking, bubbling mess in a heap on the floor. Anxiety crippled me, taking any joy away that I could have felt. I was lucky though. I had an amazing Health Visitor who recognised my change of state during her visit. She saw my detachment from my daughter, the fear in my eyes when she was passed to me. After a visit to the emergency doctors I was referred to the Perinatal Psychiatric Team. On a weekly basis for the first few months I saw a perinatal nurse, support worker, doctor and my health visitor at home. Through a balance of CBT, mindfulness, medication and lots of hugs I very, very slowly began to be Jenna again. I would like to raise money to give something back to the people who saved me. A new mother and baby unit, with more beds and an outpatient facility, is being built in Nottingham. The site will be set with green open spaces to provide a more therapeutic and caring environment for women suffering from maternal mental health. I will be running two races this year - 10miles in May/10K in August.I would love to raise money towards this new unit to say a big thank you to the team who saved me..