We have just discovered that my mother has had Aspergers (an autistic spectrum disorder) her whole life. She is now 62 and in need of a home to call her own.
All of these years we (her two daughters) have struggled to understand our relationship with her as she doesn't show empathy or love- as we know it, she would fly into rages if she felt criticised and has never been able to manage employment or socialising.
She ended up as a single parent with no money and undiagnosed Aspergers, unable to provide for us, practically and emotionally. We have struggled, living for 10 years in London until we both had to move in with her last year as we weren't able to keep up with the increase in living costs and we didn't realise at the time but we were both now suffering with ME.
Since we have been here we have been mainly laid off work due to a worsening of the ME in me and the amount of caring and house maintenance that my sister (who is slightly recovered) is having to do for our mum. The house on loan from family that want it sold asap. Even without this threat the house is barely liveable - everything is patched over, her AS style 'collecting' has been exacerbated by the amount of anxiety she feels, there in no hot water or central heating and so on.
We now finally understand why she has never really worked or looked out for us in the way we needed and are able to start forgiving ourselves for not being able to provide a better situation for her as we didn't know how to.
The diagnosis has come at a make or break time and we are determined to MAKE! My sister and I are SLOWLY getting better and are starting two businesses so that eventually we can provide for the family and give our mum the love and care she deserves.
We need help to buy a tiny house or flat which will mean so much to all of us! We need a place to launch ourselves from and to provide support and housing for our mum so she can finally feel safe and rested. Any help is massively appreciated X