As many of you already know, the last 3+ years have been the most challenging, heart-wrenching, humiliating years of my life. While I was pregnant with our precious son, and in the months and years after his birth, I experienced depression and anxiety at a level like never before. Whether it was a definite case of post-natal depression, I don't know, but it started me on a crazy roller coaster I didn't exactly sign up for. It began to be clearer and clearer just how deeply I've been struggling, as my loving and kind husband gently confronted the reality of the unhealthy ways in which I cope with the stresses and strains of everyday life as a person, a wife, a mother. Around this time last year I was blindsided by the revelation of my experience of childhood sexual abuse. And this past year has been the most intense, exhausting time for me and my precious wee family, as I've weaved in and out of acceptance and denial of the truth of my pain, my choices, and my need for healing, for freedom, for change. I've sought help from various places before, but always with a misdirected aim- to treat depression, or to change my thinking as regards marriage, finances, whatever. But the more I sit with the reality of what's happened- the root level stuff- the more I clearly see what's required. I have been deeply moved by a particular piece of work on the topic of recovery from childhood sexual abuse (The Wounded Heart, by Dr. Dan Allender) and hope to participate in an online course offered through his organisation, The Allender Center. Here's where I need a bit of help. As so perfectly stated below, I have had a sort of emotional cancer lingering in me for years, a lasting mark from historically traumatic events (big and 'little') and some very insufficient tools to care for my wounded soul. Everything in this material resonates with everything in me, soothes and brings hope to the innermost places of my being, and I am desperate (WE are desperate) to have more adequate tools to aid in my healing journey. Any donation amount towards this goal will be appreciated.

“Harm and heartache are an inevitable part of the human experience, but all too often we lack the tools to care for our wounds well, and the trauma leaves a lasting mark on our body, mind, and soul…. Trauma begets trauma. And it doesn’t go away over time, or dissipate because of our faithfulness to God, or our spouse, or our families. It lingers in our system like a cancer until our wounds heal." -Dr. Dan Allender

Here is a link if you'd like to know more details about the online course I hope to use: https://theallendercenter.org/offerings/online-courses/healing-the-wounded-heart/