May 31st 2020, marks the 10th anniversary of the birth of our sleeping baby girl Ruby. On this milestone i would love to fundraise for the amazing services that helped us in such a hard and dark time of our lives and who continue to help many other parents in our position. I thought it would be a nice idea to donate in Ruby's name to keep her memory alive. A thank you could never feel enough to the amazing midwives and staff at QA that took care of us so well, so we will be fundraising to help with the maternity bereavement suite at QA which made it possible for us to stay and have 3 very special, unforgettable days with our daughter. The bereavement suite is made to feel like home with a living room and kitchenette alongside the birthing room. It makes you feel like you aren't in the hospital and gives you the opportunity to make memories that can never be made again. I would also like to make a donation to the amazing funeral service 'Searson's' who not only helped us grieve but who also took care of Ruby's funeral and didn't charge us for it. They too had a still born baby girl and helped us get through so much which we will be forever grateful. The donation can be used to go towards the cost of another babies funeral or for the memorial garden they have which is in memory of all the people they helped and done funerals for. Finally I would like to make a donation to 'SANDS' charity which is a charity based in the UK that provides support for anyone effected by the loss of a baby.

Our story:

When we went for our routine 20 week scan, we had the news every parent fears. We got taken into the other scan room where we told Ruby had a condition called hydrocephalus, a day that will haunt me forever. We had to go for regular check ups and each time we went for more scans we got told something else was wrong. We got referred up to Southampton at 24weeks to the heart and brain specialist. They found Ruby also had hypo-plastic left heart syndrome and a horse shoe kidney. I found it hard to accept that it's just one of them things, and everything happens for a reason' . I was prepared to keep holding onto hope as I had already given up everything to have her, no matter what people thought about my age I was ready and I would have given her everything. 7 months pregnant, at the final appointment I knew that was it and we had to let her go. Her heart had stopped and it felt like mine did too. Everything we had dreamed and planned for was gone. The pain is still very real to remember that day. They gave me some tablets to try and trigger labour and sent me home for the weekend, that was the worst weekend knowing at any point I could go into labour and she was already gone. There was no more hope. On the 31st May 2010 I finally gave birth and she was just perfect. The midwives were so compassionate and I was just so grateful that for 3 days we could be that family we had dreamed of and hold her as much as we wanted to. The days to follow was a blur, we almost hid in a bubble for a year just to get by. We had to wait till September to be able to have her funeral due to the postmortem but Searson's were there for us every step of the way. Not only did they arrange the funeral they also treated us like friends and helped us in so many more ways. I wanted to do something big to mark the 10 years, not only for her memory but for how far we have all come.

This is me sharing my story and I would like to help others with theirs.