Who wants to be a millionaire? The answer Chris, is me. Honestly I just want to become a millionaire with minimal work and effort. Maybe I'll write a poem or something for the person that gets me to a million. But probably not.

Oh I'll definitely be sure to donate at least some of it to a charity. What was that one that people were throwing ice buckets over their heads for? OK I shall donate 10% of my winnings to the ice foundation, providing ice to all the countries with temperatures of 30+ degrees. Or at least buckets of water (because of melting). There.

I wonder what I'll do with my wealth. Maybe make an instagram post about "living the dream" or "work hard play harder." Something inspirational for all my followers.. How much do followers cost? £200?? Forget that noise! Thats like... 0.02% of my net worth! (quick maths). No thanks.

I promise never to forget those that were with me from my humble beginnings. But please don't contact me or come near my property. I don't want you embarrassing me infront of my new friends Elon, Kim, and Richy B. Oh such good memories I'm sure we'll make, whilst sipping champagne out of a shoe.

Ooh I want a lightsabre! Surely if the price is right it can be done. Yeah. Lightsabre battles on my lawn. Man I'm gona get me some weird hobbies. Everyones going on about how I may as well have studied underwater basket weaving. Well now I can! I'll need to get some of that water back from the ice foundation...