How many siblings do you have? Such an innocent question with a simple answer for most people. For me it makes my heart sink whenever I get into a conversation and I know this question is looming.

I have three older brothers. Always have, always will but two of them are no longer with us. Two of them being my big daft dopey Karl and my mucker Lee-Lee, as life got too much for them and they decided suicide was the only way out of their pain.

Karl was just 29 years old when he took his life on July 1st 2004, a day that changed mine and my families lives forever. The grief of suicide is so overwhelming; the constant why’s? The what if’s? The pain hurts quite literally. After almost 16 years of being without Karl, Lee too took his own life on February 22nd this year leaving behind a huge hole of devastation.

Aside from the obvious which is too personal to go in to, I’ve decided I’m going to make a legacy from my heartbreaking loss. So on August 22nd my brother John and I along with some family and friends are going to climb Scafell Pike raising money and awareness for Papyrus.

I have NEVER done anything like this before and so its a complete challenge which is the point of people sponsoring me but for me personally its so much deeper. Lee was happiest up a mountain or outdoors. In 2018 he climbed Ben Nevis, 2019 Snowden and you guessed it this year was meant to be Scafell but sadly never made it so along with his beautiful family - Katy, Ashton (10) and Max (8) we’ll be climbing it for him to raise awareness.

I‘m on a personal mission to ensure our children grow up to know “ITS OK NOT TO BE OK”. Where mental health can be spoke about freely and passionately.

Any donation is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking your time to read my story 💚