My husband and i have been married for 11 years. When i met him he had 3 kids and told me he could longer have kids. I was young and said i only wanted him and not to worry about me having kids myself. However, after getting married my maternal instinct kicked in and i longed to have a child of my own.

MY husband agreed to undertake a vasectomy reversal some years in. I had high hopes that we could have our own family together. Initial results from the operation suggested that it had been a success. However, some months later a further test confirmed the operation had failed. I was devasted.

Some time passed and we agreed to undertake a second reversal. Initial results were good and we suffered 2 miscarriages both around the 8 week mark. I became withdrawn and depressed. Everyone around me seemed to be having babies.

I decided to go to a fertility clinic in the north and try to ascertain why i was having miscarriages. I undertook every test under the sun including dna testing which all came back clear. As part of the testing they tested my husband and the news was devasting, my husbands operation had been deemed a failure.

They suggested ivf treatment, my husband would need to go under the knife again. This time sperm aspiration. An invasive operation but this way sperm would be frozen and used later. The operation was a success and they prepared me for ivf. I must have been naive at first. Nothing could have prepared me for the journey that lie ahead.

Daily hormone injections, blood tests, internals, tablets and regular contact with the hospital.

Unfortunately during the first cycle, i developed ohss, a condition which makes the ovaries hyper stimulate. I felt sick, couldnt walk and was in extreme agony. I remember calling my mum to come round to help me, something i would never do.

Needless to say my ivf cycle was cancelled and i would have to wait weeks to recover from this before i could try again.

Any delay in fertility treatment is emotionally distressing.

I resumed treatment and once again i developed ohss. This time the hospital decided to freeze my embryos and wait until my ovaries had calmed down.

I undertook FET, a frozen embryo transfer. The process of getting the embryom transferred was traumatic to say the least and 2 weeks later a pregnancy test confirmed the cycle had failed. I was devasted, i remember sitting at work thinking how can i carry on doing this mundane job when the one thing i really want is beyond me... i broke down crying and went home.

2 years later, we decided to do a last ditch attempt at another vasectomy reversal knowing this was cheaper and what we could afford. It was a different hospital and they seemed to know what they were doing. Initial results were promising but sadly we could not get pregnant. Further results down the line concluded that my husband had very little sperm and the quality was not what it should be.

I remember reading an article in the paper about a woman who egg shared who helped other ladies get pregnant. I thought i wonder if i could do this. This was several years later.

I contacted a hospital in London on the off chance and they got back to me.

I went to a London hospital, i didnt mention the OHSS i had developed previously and i had the green light to undertook a course of ivf and egg share.

The process took months but i started my course of ivf again. The treatment cost was far cheaper as i was egg sharing but the fact that i was helping another woman get pregnant made me happy. I commuted to London daily from Essex for blood tests, internals as well as daily hormone injections.

I remember having my eggs collected. They retrieved over 31. My ovaries went mental again. My stomach swelled and i looked huge. I undertook the embryo transfer, i felt awful but i knew a fresh embryo transfer had more chances of success than a frozen one so I put on a brave face and said I was fine but really I was in agony.

2 weeks later, i did a test and it was positive.I couldn’t believe it. I now have a beautiful 4 year old daughter who i treasure each day.

Im now 37 soon to be 38 and i would love to have a 2nd child. The whole process of IVF has left me emotionally scarred and financially destitute . I have 2 embryos frozen and I would love to use them before I turn 40. We funded all our treatment privately as we didnt qualify for NHS funding.

Thanks for reading.