My story - I have created this page, out of sheer desperation for help and for support off people, kind hearted people who will help me receive the therapy I need.

I was 22, a hot summers day, id been out the night before, and everything was normal, until my dad, who had never been poorly before, complained of not feeling very well, was hot and sweaty, and wanted to lie down outside on the flags. My mum helped him up the stairs, onto the bed, and didnt know what was wrong with him. Until she screamed for me, and that was the moment my life and my mental health changed forever...

My father, my best friend, out of the blue, suffered a cardiac arrest, in his bedroom on his bed. My mum screamed for me, and I ran in to find him in what will be the most traumatic thing ill ever have to see or do. I tried to resuscitate my dad. CPR on my own father, the vision before my eyes was a horror movie, i tried and tried till the Paramedics arrived, but I failed, I could not save him. He was gone, in my arms, blue, limp and the look of his eyes will never leave me.

Crushed and heart broken, I have suffered chronic anxiety ever since, I have had different forms of therapy in the past but to no avail I am still suffering. I have been waiting 6 months for treatment on the NHS and to be told I still have months to wait. After taking A-Z of medications to help me, nothing helps, I am so poorly with this crippling anxiety and depression that I really do not know where to turn anymore. Because of my illness I only work part time, and I physically can not afford private therapy. With a broken heart this is my last shot at getting help. 10 years to long I have suffered with this. RIP Derek Barton 20/5/07 I love you.