Meet Paul

This is my friend, Paul.

He's 39 and a proud ginge.

He loves his rugby and he loves his bro.

He's built like a brick shit house...

with ridiculously small killer whale teeth.

He's spent most of his working life on building sites. I don't know how much work he got done though.

He's a general all-round Mr Fix-it.

A practical joker, who will do ANYTHING to keep up morale and spread a few laughs.

Always the joker, trying to get him to pose naturally for a picture, well, it's a losing battle.

I think he was a catalogue model in another life.

He'll do almost anything for a dare, even climbing up a massive plinth in a busy Spanish park, pretending to be a statue...

And he's not shy when it comes to parading around in his birthday suit, just for a laugh...

It's more of a "Keep 'em on, keep 'em on" than "Get 'em off" with Paul.

And he won't be beaten by anything.

Apart from himself.

Now Meet the Real Paul

He's all those things above but there's a lot more to him than that.

He has suffered in silence with his mental health for years and years and has finally found the courage to open up. Slowly but surely, over the last couple of years as he's struggled to keep it together on his own, he has become more and more accepting of himself.

He's shedding the male pride and bravado and admitting that he can't cope with his thoughts anymore. He knows that other blokes are suffering in silence like he was.

He has sat on NHS waiting lists for months and months, had a few sessions with someone, which helped; but only allowed a maximum of 12. It just wasn't enough.

When he's really low, he takes himself off to Penshaw Monument, his favourite place in the world, in the dark, when no-one else is around.

After an horrendous Christmas, when he was nearly convinced by himself to give up, I asked him why he did it with so many people around him who love him.

After reaching an all-time low, last weekend he came to me and told me about his idea to start a men's mental health support group, here in Sunderland.

He'd bumped in to old mates before Christmas who told him about a couple of the young rugby lads they knew who had committed suicide.

After being silent for so long, he won't bloody shut up about it now. He is obsessed with starting a group because not only is it what he needs, he knows that other "normal blokes" need it too.

Now, in the last few days he has rallied friends and family together and told them about reaching out to other men to end the stigma around mental health and make it easier for them to look for support.

If Paul, as big and strong as he is physically, can say, "Yes, I'm a

and I sometimes get overwhelmed, feel hopeless and I cry, I cry a lot" then hopefully, other men can think, "If he can, I can".

He's got a name...

and wants his logo to be a pair of balls (ginger, of course :)

Let's hope the final draft looks better than this...bless. He got his felt tips out specially.

So many people are giving him their time and advice. But, we need a kitty to get the group going for the little things like teas and coffees and a couple of hours wages for one staff member to be able to lock up. All the little bits and bobs that cost money.

He's trying to fund it himself so far but after electrocuting himself and ending up in hospital, he had to admit that he can't do what he used to anymore and he's currently not working (which is really tough as he gets a lot of his feelings of self-worth from his job.

That's why I've started this page. I'd love him to be able to focus on the group and how to help others rather than how he will be able to fund it. And, I'd love to show him that he's doing this to help our community and we are behind him all the way.

I'm helping him with as much as I can and I've already agreed to be "treasurer" (as he is rubbish with money) when he gets around to putting in funding bids. But that's way ahead. He just wants to get the group up and running before his mind convinces him he can't do it.

Every £ will make a massive difference and will go towards getting the first group (at the end of January 2020) up and running. Any left over will help pay for the next session and the next...as long as it's wanted and needed.

Not only do I invite you to donate whatever you can, I also encourage you to share this with anyone who you think might be interested in turning up or supporting this cause.

Ladies/friends please help! We need our men, our sons, our brothers, our dads and grandads, our nephews and our partners to be as well as they can be. Loving and supporting our men, supports us all.

Paul has found it really tough for the last decade or more. He's done some daft things that he's not proud of, trying to numb himself from thoughts of being "a failure" and "weak".

But, to me, he's Mr Incredible. I can clearly see the strength he's shown and continues to show to try to overcome his own worst enemy - himself, and that strength is even bigger than the man mountain he is.

Please donate but I ask for more than that. Please tell all the men you know about this group. He is welcoming ALL men, whether they have no mental health issues and want to stay aware of the dangers, or whether they are "in it" now or have been in the past. This group is for everyone. A safe space to to share stories, to talk and to be heard.

Paul might be nuts sometimes but he's very welcoming and very protective. He'll make everyone feel safe and I'm sure you'll have many, many laughs along the way.

If you do make a donation I encourage you to tell us who you are rather than staying anonymous. Any advice, ideas and/or words of wisdom would be great to read.

Love

Claire and Paul x