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Morgan Clark raised £8,250.83 from 215 supporters

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Closed 05/06/2021

0%
£8,250
raised of £8,250 target by 215 supporters

    Weʼve raised £8,250 to Morgan's Top Surgery

    Swansea, United Kingdom
    Funded on Saturday, 5th June 2021

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    Story

    Morgan’s Story

    I’m an autistic trans man, and I need to get top surgery. The waiting lists are very long and I have no income for going private by myself. I came summer 2019, and have been going back and forth on whether or not to do this fundraiser ever since. Wracked with guilt, over things like ‘What have I done to deserve people’s help?’ or ‘Other people have been out and waiting longer, am I just selfish?’

    Last year when I came out was very big year for me, because last year was the year I decided to be completely honest with myself, about everything – no matter how hard it was, no matter how afraid I was. So, I’ve pushed myself to answer these guilt-ridden questions honestly.

    From the age of 5 I knew I wasn’t like other people, I sensed it in my interactions with others, with the way all my peers seemed to know it on an intrinsic level and avoid me. When I was 14, and going through therapy my mum told me that she first heard me say I wanted to die when I was 5 years old. That I used to scream at her from my bed ‘No one will love me, I’m not worth anything, I shouldn’t be alive’. And I thought those things going forward for the rest of my life – always wondering what it was that could make a 5 year old think those things. Sometimes I coped well with it, like it was just another fact ‘The sky is blue, grass is green, Morgan is intrinsically worth less than other people’. And other times it was much harder.

    I knew I wasn’t a girl, but it never seemed like there were any other options. I spent years as a child trying to figure out what I could be, if not a girl, but everyone told me that was just what I was. So, I believed them, and instead spent decades thinking of myself as a ‘broken girl’.

    During that time I was always depressed. I self-harmed, I made several attempts on my own life, and I dissociated regularly. I looked into the mirror and could never see myself there. It’s not that I hated my body, exactly, but that it wasn’t ever mine – just some fleshy thing I lived in. Looking back, I can see all the things that were gender dysphoria, but at the time, it just came together as this general feeling of being ‘broken’.

    In 2018, I got my autism diagnosis. This was a big changing point for me, it was the first indicator I had that I might not be broken. It allowed me to look back over my life with context and hindsight, to understand the ways in which I was different and why. And it accounted for a lot of things, but not everything. I was still chronically depressed, I was still dissociating, and there was still this void of ‘other’ that I hadn’t figured out. Then 2019 hit, and I started my year of being brutally honest with myself, and I realised I was not broken, I just wasn’t a girl.

    Since coming out, I have felt the most healthy I have been my whole life. I haven’t wanted to die, even as a passing thought, in over a year. I haven’t been dissociating. When I look into the mirror, I often don’t like what I see, but I know that it’s me that I’m looking at.

    So, yes, I’ve only been out just over a year, but the journey has been much longer, and I want to keep going. I want to keep feeling like a full, authentic, me.

    Top surgery is the next big step for me, I wouldn’t have to wear uncomfortable binders (which can have long term effects on your health and can’t be used all the time), and I’d be able to move, and swim, and exercise, and just generally exist, as me. It would mean the world to me.

    I know lots of people don’t have the funds and I would never want anyone put themselves out of pocket for me, but if you can afford it, I would be so grateful to anyone who would help make this come true for me.

    *My Goal has put been put to £8250. My initial amount was based on estimates of top surgery prices in the UK, however after booking a consultation, it has turned out the estimations were out of date. See Updates section for full breakdown.

    Updates

    15

    • Morgan Clark3 years ago
      Morgan Clark

      Morgan Clark

      3 years ago

      We made it!!! I'm absolutely over the moon to have got this far, and so grateful to everyone who helped make this happen. On top of reaching my goal, and being able to afford top surgery, this process has also made me feel so loved, and given me a renewed faith in others. That friends, family members, people I haven't heard from in years, and even strangers have come forward with such wonderful supportive messages has meant to the world to me. Thank you.

      Update from the Page owner

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    • Morgan Clark3 years ago
      Morgan Clark

      Morgan Clark

      3 years ago
      Update from the Page owner

      Wow, I can't believe it - we're 100% of the way there! :D When I set this up last May, I never would have imagined that I'd be here in 10 months time. I want to say a huge thanks to everyone who has shared and donated over this time, and to all the fundraisers people set up and took part in!

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    • Morgan Clark3 years ago
      Morgan Clark

      Morgan Clark

      3 years ago
      Update from the Page owner

      We've reached a whopping 91% of the way there! :D Only £735 left to go - I can't believe it! Thanks so much to everyone who has donated, shared, and fundraised for me, I'm so incredibly grateful to you all <3

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    4 years ago

    Morgan Clark started crowdfunding

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    Page last updated on: 2/16/2021 14.16

    Supporters

    215

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous

      Feb 16, 2021

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous

      Feb 16, 2021

      £10.00

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous

      Feb 15, 2021

      £5.00

    • Rebecca & Lee McCormick

      Rebecca & Lee McCormick

      Feb 14, 2021

      £8.00

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous

      Feb 13, 2021

      Peace and power!

      £5.00

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous

      Feb 13, 2021

      £10.00

    • Elms

      Elms

      Feb 5, 2021

      £5.00

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    Morgan Clark

    Morgan Clark

    Swansea, United Kingdom

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