Shhhhh … do you know how to keep a secret? 🤭

According to some people, I am supposed to keep the fact that I am turning 60 a secret, when all I want to do is shout from the rooftops that I finally made it. I’m a grown up! Well that’s my story 😜 and I’m sticking to it.

One minute I was in my late 20’s and early 30’s when I met many of you, and did soooooo much in my life. It was a wild time.. My 40’s passed in a blur, gosh I did not enjoy my early 40’s.😝 Life took on a new direction in my 50’s and it feels like life just whirled by. Now I’m 60! I don’t know where the time went and it is gone now, but it is time to both slow it down and change my focus.

You know me, I like a long story, and I have said what I want to say in full below, but if you need the abbreviated version that is relevant to this page … here goes … Feel free to ignore the rest 😅

This is an appeal for you to fund our latest venture, a ‘charitable foundation’ rather than buying me flowers, chocolates, alcohol or any other wonderful gift that you think of for my birthday.

If you weren’t planning on getting me anything 😂 that’s OK too. But, I find that people feel odd turning up without anything. Even a card. Don't bother. Donate what you would have spent on a card. I don't care how much you donate. I am just on a mission to fund the things that are truly important to me.

I am told that there will be a book in which you can write a message for me at the party. And ... you can always write me a letter ... which I would love ... more about that later.

So, please still donate. Whatever you can donate, large or small, anything will be appreciated.😊

Bhups and I are setting a charitable foundation to fund a variety of community projects and scholarships for people who would otherwise not be able to afford the loans required to get the kind of education that might help them to make a difference in the world. People, who did not continue their education because of life choices, finances, circumstances beyond their control. And the kids, like the ones who go to the state school in East London that our daughter Leela chooses to teach in, who might desperately want that opportunity but just don’t know how to make it happen.

We were fortunate enough to live in an era (1980’s) in which we were able to get a state funded financial ‘grant’, without which my sister and I certainly would not have been able to go to university or get a higher education.

Although we did not have access to finances, we were fortunate to have parents who pushed us, supported us, and in my case kicked my butt (alot) to ensure I got an education and made the most of any opportunities that came my way. Not everyone has that. Bhupinder has a similar story to tell. None of us had the kind of wealth that we have now. Life was pretty hard then too. Just in a different way. Each generation has it's own stories to tell.

We feel it is time to ‘give back’ and support the next generations, so we are setting up a small charity through which to make this happen. We are coming up to retirement, and in due course we see ourselves doing more and more charitable work and this is the platform through which we are going to do it. We have been talking about it for years, and now is the time for us to take action.

The charity will be called ‘The Peaceful Progress Foundation’ and will follow on from the work I do in my legal practice, which is called Peaceful Progress. More about that below.

We are starting our charitable foundation’s journey in the area that we know the best, by supporting a variety of community health focused projects in the NHS. After that we intend to leverage the skills and knowledge within our communities to set up the educational grants and scholarships.

The NHS is an amazing organisation, full of love, compassion, and talented hardworking, selfless individuals who do an amazing job. We consider ourselves very blessed to be able to work in the NHS. We never ever wonder why we go to work. The NHS has given our lives meaning and purpose. And on top of that we have had the good fortune to work with an amazing group of people (past and present) in the First 4 Health Group over the last 20 + years.

There are too many people to thank for creating the First 4 Health Group. But you all know who you are, and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, for your commitment, love and dedication to making our little bit of the world in East London a better place.

At the moment, our intention at the First 4 Health Group is to empower our patients in Newham to stay healthy and live well. But we want to do so much more. Visit our website to find out what we do and how you can support us https://www.first4healthgroup.co.uk. If you are interested in getting involved.

The NHS is brilliant and we do so much. But there are lots of gaps in the services that we would like to provide for our patients. A lot of the work that we want to do to support our patients is either only partially funded or not funded at all by the government. So in order to do this work, we have to raise additional funding for it.

Over the last year we have developed a research programme to look at the psychosocial risk factors affecting women around and during pregnancy. We were awarded a significant grant by NHS England to do the initial research in November 2022, but that funding and the research will come to an end this month. We plan to build on the research, regardless of whether we are successful in the next funding round, to develop a range of services to support the mental health of women who are either planning families; are struggling to get pregnant; have had miscarriages; are currently pregnant; or are learning how to become the best parent they can be in an environment that is not set up as well as it could be to support them with that journey.

Think back to a time when you were going through any health related issue, and the support that you needed. Did you get access to the support that you needed? When you needed it? In a way that was accessible to you? Whether you did or not, you probably know someone who had a very different story to yours. Health is everything. Without it, “our wealth” means very little.

Having a family is so important to many of us, and when we don’t have a good experience around getting pregnant or childbirth it fundamentally affects us for the rest of our lives. If we can make a difference to one woman, to one family, we will get to support a whole generation. And that is something that the First 4 Health Group is very very passionate about. So, please help us by donating here.

It is through the work of organisations and communities that support and raise our future generations that we get to create a world that works.

On a practical level, the Charitable Foundation is taking much longer than I thought it would to set up. The optimist in me thought it would be done by now. 🧐 Alas, I did not get the timing right. 🥹 I am told it will be completed in the next 4 - 6 weeks. Apparently it takes forever to set up a bank account for a charity! Anyone know a banker who might be able to expedite things?

Anyway, long story short ... rather than be stopped by a bunch of technical problems I have set up this page so that you can donate to the Foundation.

As I said earlier, rather than buying me flowers or chocolates or alcohol, or anything else for my birthday, please use the money you would have spent on me to make a donation here. Small or large. Anything you donate will be greatly appreciated. Or donate, simply because the maternity project is an important cause and you want to support projects which directly impact women and families.

I love you. And I know you love me. But I really don’t NEED anything. All I want is for you to come and dance, drink and party with me, and 😂 make a donation to support our charitable causes and foundation. OK OK, I know this story is way tooooooooo long and I am repeating myself. One of the benefits of getting older .... perhaps I don't care that I tell very long stories 🧐 I am losing the plot 🤣 or perhaps I just care too much 🤗. I think I will go with that interpretation🤣

I promise that the whole of whatever you donate will be sent to the charitable foundation as soon as it is set up. Bhupinder and I will separately fund any set up costs associated with the Foundation or this Just Giving page.

My philosophy in life is that - “If you don’t ask, you don’t get” … 🤷🏻‍♀️ … which is why I decided to set up this page now.

And for those of you who want to know how the charity ties into what I am going to do for the next 30+ years … and are willing to hear how much YOU mean to me/us … Here is the even longer story … 🤣

In the last 35 years, Bhupinder and I have created an amazing life, and it's primarily because YOU are part of it.

I am the way that I am because YOU are an amazing human being, and YOU have supported me over the years to become the person I am today. YOU created me, and I love you for it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For being you. For being part of my journey. And that journey has only just started. The best is yet to come.

As you probably know I am a bit of a NOISY WOMAN. 🤔

I always have been and I always will be. I will stand up and get noisy (and busy) around those things that are important to me; the NHS, equality, fairness, and justice to name areas.

I do it in my own unique way. Sometimes quietly. Sometimes by being very very direct. I do it by being the person I want to see in the world. I do it by being ‘In action’; by the way I ‘operate’ in the various organisations that I have helped to create; by the way that I interact with the people in my life; friends, family, children, partners, colleagues and clients; by nurturing, gently challenging 🤭, coaching, mentoring, helping to create ideas / solutions, empowering and sometimes by kicking their butt (nicely, bluntly, compassionately, sternly) in any way that helps them to grow and develop into the best version of themselves. ❤️

I hope you know me to be a loving daughter, sister, wife, mother and aunt; a passionate caring friend, a committed colleague, a solutions focused employment lawyer, an extraordinary coach, a fair and balanced mediator, a compassionate but direct boss. Whichever way you know me, I truly love and appreciate that I have been able to contribute to your lives. Thank you for giving me the space to contribute to you … and your life ….

So what’s next?

I am going to dedicate the next 3 decades to getting noisier, and doing what I do best, which is supporting people to achieve their dreams in a way that works for them. I imagine a number of other ‘Noisy Women’ will gravitate into my space, but I hope that those ‘people’ who do not identify as being ‘noisy’, or ‘women’ and want to create spectacular lives and relationships that they can look back on with freedom and joy, will also join me in making a meaningful difference in the world.

Some of you may know that I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, courtesy of the support and intervention of some loving friends. Thank you Anita and Pauline!

I know,I know, it's sooooo fashionable to be neurodivergent at the moment 🥳. Who would have thought I would want or need another label! But actually it has helped. 😜 Some of you will be surprised that I struggle with anything, because you think I am a bit of a super woman. But I do. I struggle with lots of things.

And some of you have watched with amazement as you wondered if I could manage to find my way out of a paper bag, let alone do all of the things I have done in my life.

And others have seen me find a creative way to get out of the bag 🤣. It just won’t be through the normal, expected or the easiest route! Because of course, “there is no paper bag!” 🫣

This party is a celebration of the last 60 years of my life and our friendship, because none of it would have been possible without all of you.

So, take a seat … and join me on an exhilarating ride through the next 30 years of this new journey as I unleash my next whirlwind into your space.

Don’t worry, you will love it. I know I will. I will probably also be exhausted and a bit frenetic from time to time, but I will be having the time of my life.

And … for those of you who for some strange reason worry about this … I promise, promise, promise, I will look after myself and I will get some sleep … from time to time 😴. Now that I have done both Landmark and Vipassana I will be unstoppable. 🙌🏼

Anyone who wants to join me, is welcome to join in. I could do with all the support I can get!

So, I have a few dreams left and in this next phase, I am moving forward by being the joyful, unique and free person that I am.

Firstly, I have renamed, and reframed my legal practice. It is now called ‘Peaceful Progress’ and the new name reflects the only kind of legal work that I now do. I gave up litigation about 10 years ago, and I now focus on mediation and conflict resolution, and supporting organisations to create amazing workplaces. Places where people get to be known, loved and respected for their contribution to their organisation and to society. Places where people love going to work. Places like the First 4 Health Group (www.first4healthgroup.co.uk) and Healthtech1 (www.Healthtech1.uk - Raj & Pete and their growing team's latest venture) both of which I am looking forward to watching flourish in this new era.

And …

As many of you know, I have been a ‘coach’ for many many years. However, a few years ago I decided to get some formal training and a bit of paper to prove that I was an ‘Executive Coach’. I got my qualification with an amazing organisation called the Academy of Executive Coaching (AoEC) which encourages you to build a coaching model that both reflects your unique style of working and that ‘works for you’. Well … you know me. The opportunity to create something that was built on a solid foundation of knowledge and practice, but had my own unique flavour to it appealed to the rebel in me. 🤣

Covid slowed down my ability to set up a formal coaching practice at that time. Like many in the NHS I was stressed beyond recognition and completely overworked at that time. There was no time or energy for anything else. But amongst all of that turmoil, the importance of following my dreams, now, not, “one day - someday - never”, kept knocking at my door. If not now, then when? If not me, then who? I am sure there is more to that quote, but I am sure you get the drift.

Surprise surprise, 🤗 my coaching company and personal development platform is called NOISY WOMEN. I am in the process of building it with a wonderful team of energetic passionate people.

It will primarily offer coaching and other education / professional development solutions for women who self-identify as ‘Noisy Women’ and want support or who want to become even more successful as ‘Noisy Women’.

I believe in working with ‘anyone’ who is willing to ‘do the work’ and not just 'talk' about it. So, the idea is that we will also work with anyone who wants to successfully leverage the skills and strengths they have access to via the Noisy Women they already have in their lives.

And finally…

Another thing you could do … if you want to … 🥰 ... is to write me a letter about what our relationship means to you and the impact it has had on your life or others around you. I will treasure it. I am hoping that on the hard days that inevitably follow us all through life, I can use it as a way of reminding myself that I am loved, and that I made a difference to your life.

Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being in my life.

I love you ❤️

www.first4healthgroup.co.uk

healthtech1

Academy of Executive Coaching

www.noisy-women.com