So I know I am probably partially to blame for my situation, but trust me I did not spend these payday loans on fancy clothes, holidays or other luxury items.

I suppose my situation started when I was sexually assaulted. I became so anxious that I couldn't go to work for several months, as I had only been at the company for 3 months, they looked for a reason to fire me. They decided that on the few occasions that I had been under 10 minutes late was enough. I was devastated. I'd worked so hard to get this job and it had been the toughest interview I'd ever done so I was so proud of myself for getting the job. Losing this job sent my anxiety into overload and made me fall into depression.

Whilst I wanted to get another job, I just couldn't face the real world. This meant that I couldn't pay my rent. As I had too much pride, and was determined to keep my independence I couldn't bear to claim any sort of benefit or move in with a relative. So, I started taking out payday loans (without having a payday due anytime soon - yes I appreciate this was stupid but my mind wasn't really rational)

I did finally find a job some 4 months later, but by this point I was deep within the cycle of taking out a loan to pay the last one.

Now that I am settled in a job, and feeling closer to being my old self (I'm not sure I'll ever really come back) I decided to look back at what the value of my loans were. I was shocked that the total balance taken was over £21k. God only knows how much interest I've paid :( and I have absolutely zilch to show for it.

Anyway, whilst I am working, I am seriously struggling to keep up with the payments, plus everyday living costs, rent, bills & food.

As I am working, I'm not entitled to any assistance from the government so I would appreciate what ever help can be offered.

I honestly appreciate this seems like a girl just trying to get some cash, but I just want to go back to having a normal life. And even if this only raises awareness of how dangerous the payday cycle can be, that's pretty great too.

Thank you for taking the time to at least read x