Inspired by others stories, I have decided to share mine. I’m raising Money and Awareness for Mental Health in young adults. I am planning on doing a charity sky dive please visit my just giving page! Mental health being such a touchy and hidden topic as it is, as you can imagine this is extremely difficult to share. However if it is going to help and encourage others like myself to speak up then it’s defo worth it.

Growing up I had always been such a confident, happy, loud teenager, I had always been laid back in the way I looked, I didn’t really care about the number on the scales or how much, or how little make up was on my face.

At 19/20 I was introduced to the fitness industry, I started training and seeing changes in my body I had never ever seen before, to an extent of addiction. Starting a job at the gym, training up to 3 times a day and eating set meals, I was fully as I would like to say ‘dedicated’ to the sport, even if I did consume a little bit of a cheat on the weekend, the gym was suddenly my life, god forbid I missed just one day.

As I started to feel unhappy with the way my life was heading, I was in a relationship that I somehow felt ‘trapped in’. Thinking I would never survive on my own, and that no one would ever love me like ‘he did’, I stayed out of comfort, to a point things got worse and a healthy relationship turned very toxic very quickly. Having what I felt was no control in my life the only thing I was able to control was my eating and my training, so going back to training 2 times a day and not missing a cardio session. I started to see my self as this person who would never be good enough and was thrown to the other end of the spectrum, where controlling my food was my whole life, I would not eat without checking the calories, and every time I eat something that wasn’t on ‘plan’ whether it was even 10g of oats over what I should have had, I would NEED to get this out of my body. I eventually shouted out for help as I realised this was not normal behaviours, id feel weak, tired and dizzy and couldn’t function in work.

This then greatly effected my relationship to a point it came to an end, things got nasty and violent and i genuinely couldn't believe that they had worked out like that. I had suddenly gone from having a second family a full time job, and a relationship to absolutely nothing. I at the time started to suffer from anxiety and felt extremely low, where I genuinely could not see how my life would improve. I kept telling myself that I’m ok its fine its normal I’ll get over it, but in fact everyone around me could see that I was having a mental breakdown. Turning to going out drinking every weekend as an escapism and working all the hours under the sun just to cause a distraction. This seemed to work. I seeked and received medical attention for my eating habits eventually, and jesus it was the hardest day of my life, BUT I received the most understanding and amazing support of my Mum and Step dad. Id never have recovered on my own, and I can now say that calories are irrelevant to me and I’ve found the perfect balance, eating disorders/ anxiety have a serious effect on the body so please please please seek help.

Id love to encourage others to share their stories, as its nothing to be ashamed of, im finally back to my happy go larry self! Im back at the top now and in the best career/friendship/health space ive ever been in, sometimes you just need a lil help AND THAT’S OK!