Our first born Joey turns 10 in the sky on the 19 th July 2021 … I have always wanted to do something public and special for his birthday so I can raise awareness of vasa praevia in his memory. But I find this day very difficult and emotionally challenging, and so we always have his day together privately as a family.

With this year being his tenth birthday, I feel like it is huge milestone, and with the help of my friends and family we have decided to hold a fundraising event. I know it will be emotionally difficult but I want to raise as much awareness as possible about Vasa Praevia, to save lives and prevent other families suffering the sadness and the loss that we have. We want to raise funds to hopefully buy a cuddle cot for Derby Hospital with any extra funds going towards the bereavement garden.

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Me and my childhood friends are doing a 10mile walk around Edale Skyline & having a family fun fund raising day at the George Pub, Lowes Hill, Ripley on the 14th August .

We are raising money for a cuddle cot because I feel from my experience it’s really important to spend extra time with your baby to help with the grieving process.

A cuddle cot is a small refrigerated unit which is discreetly hidden in a Moses basket, crib or pram.

To raise awareness of Vasa Praevia this is the story of my beautiful baby boy Joey, who we tragically and unfairly lost to Vasa Praevia.

I had a scan at 12weeks and it was amazing, when you see your baby on the screen for the first time, no words can describe it! I had my second scan at 20 week's, we found out that my placenta was lying low, the sonographer didn't seem alarmed by this and just said to book another scan at 32 weeks and it most probably would of moved.I left feeling anxious due to the lack of information given as I'm such a worrier, but was feeling happy that we found out we were expecting a boy, I felt i was now able to bond more with my little prince and think of names, not long after we decided on joey.

Joey was such a active baby and always seemed to have hiccups, we had a 4d scan at 26 weeks which again was an amazing experience and I'm so glad we had this as I have lots of photos of joey and a 10 minute dvd to add to my memories of him.

32 weeks scan came round and my placenta was still lying low, I was then told I'd be re-scanned again at 36weeks the same information given that it should move and if it didn't a c section would be performed.

At my 36 weeks scan the sonographer looked and said that it looked Ok now. Being naive and trusting the sonographer I didn't ask any more questions.

37+3 I had a show and my waters broke slowly throughout that day. I rang the hospital and they just said to monitor it being clear. 37+4 18th July 2011 I rang the hospital back and they said to come in to confirm my waters had gone. They had I was told to go home and come back the next day at 4pm if labour hadn't started in the mean time.

At home I felt scared of the unknown but excited that soon we were going to meet our baby.

9.30pm joey had hiccups and was active kicking, feeling tired I went to bed.

11.10pm my living nightmare began...

Feeling more leakage I said to Scott there's more water, I got up walked to the bathroom feeling a lot of leakage. I put the light on to discover bright red blood, it continued fall, it was everywhere. I was hysterical crying I knew something wasn't right how could it be, Scott rang the hospital, they asked too many questions so he rang 999 .It felt like they took ages but they arrived within 6 minutes. Not knowing what to do I just sat on the toilet with blood still coming away.

The Ambulance came and took me to hospital. There was no movement from joey. Arriving at the hospital they tried to find his heart beat none could be found with a stethoscope, so they used a ultra sound machine and a faint little flicker was seen. The next thing I know I'm being rushed to have a emergency csection.

Coming round from my cesarean, I asked for my baby. I was told he's very poorly and was not going to survive?! how can you prepare yourself for that, I couldn't accept it and don't think I ever will. I asked to see him, the moment I saw joey I fell in love with him! He was so beautiful more beautiful than I ever could imagine, truly was a little perfect angel with a tiny little face. But he looked so pale and poorly with wires and tubes coming out of him I just wished some how I could make him better. I was able to lie with Joey, but due to my own health I was rushed out of neonatal. Shortly after Joey died apart of me died too. I cried my heart out I felt pain and sadness that I never thought was even possible to feel, it truly was a living nightmare and I just wanted to wake up and it not be real I wanted to die how could I carry on without him.

Joey was born at 00.19 am and it took 30 mins to get a faint heart beat he was took to neonatal at 1.05am. He was so poorly and lost almost all of his blood. Joey died at 04.15am.

The next day we were told Joey died due to vasa praevia and I'd just been unlucky and it was very rare and that they don't scan for it, at this point we didn't ask questions as we couldn't get our heads round losing our baby boy nevermind how he died. When I did look up vasa Praevia I looked at the statistics and its about 1 in 2500 to me that not very rare! Vasa praevia is when the vessels are exposed and when labour starts the baby's blood vessels rupture as they are not protected. When I went into labour my vessels were crossing my cervix so when Joey started to move down he ruptured his own blood supply and lost blood.

Vasa praevia can be picked up on a colour Doppler scan as it measures the blood flow through the umbilical cord and placenta.

To carry a baby full term and then for him to die at the birth when you think your safe, is absolutely devastating heartbreaking but to find out that Joey could of been saved from a simple 1 minute scan is unimaginable to describe.

I had a low lying placenta which is a risk factor of vasa praevia but at no point was vasa praevia mentioned. Healthy little babies are dying needlessly when they can be saved!

Please tell your friends and family about vasa Praevia help save little lives xxxxx

10 years have gone by and he’s never far from my thoughts … time really doesn’t heal anything. Forever heartbroken, Forever wondering who you would be, Forever what ifs ….

Joey Fretwell-Rhodes who will be in our hearts forever xx