I've left this fundraising to the very last minute..... running a marathon has been on my 'bucket list' since before I started running. I have have become slightly addicted to running half marathons since I first discovered I could (Please don't think I'm fast or good at them!) I used them to raise money in memory of Nicky and get the funds started to create a charity to help local young physically disabled children and young adults. We needed so much help and support when Nicky was here and Nicky achieved amazing things in her 21years.... far more than I feel I've achieved in my 34! She wanted to reach for the stars and let nothing stop her and she did and she did it with the help of such generous family friends and our local community. I don't remember a lot of the things that happened because we were so young at the time but Mum and Dad are still prompted to tell stories and remenisce of how those people changed our lives and made things better when everything was a challenge.

I don't want to just ask people to help us help others. I've said it before. I want to challenge myself to achieve things I don't think are possible, make things hard for myself to learn not to take life for granted and fundraise for doing it. Everyone said if you can run a half marathon you can run a full marathon.... I think there is a bit of a fib in that statement. I decided I would run a full marathon to raise funds for Nicky. I started my training some months ago and suddenly the fear of failure meant my training became overwhelming and my mind almost crippled my body. The day I couldn't even run 3 miles was the day I thought I might have to give up... but I won't! It's hard! Life is hard and sometimes we don't always have choices in the challenges we face.

The turning point was another lonely, slow slog to reach my new training target... 18 miles.... what a joke! 16 had made me sick as a dog and I don't like running anymore... training alone because I didn't want to waste other people's time or be a burden was horrible, this is stupid, I'm not going to tell anyone because I'm going to fail! Back to the 18 mile run and at 9 miles in I did it again - I fell over, this time down a steep hill on rough crushed stone in the middle of nowhere. At least this time I didn't land on my head but I'd smashed up my knees and lay in a heap curled up on the floor feeling sick and dizzy. Question time! Do I ring for help and go home? I'm covered in blood and my knees look funny shapes. Answer? What do I do if I fall over on race day? Give up and go home? Reality...... no phone signal LOL another 9 miles it is then. I did it! I got to 18 and felt accomplished but then had to miss training to sort out my knees and my new fear of falling over! Fast forward to last Sunday for my biggest and final training target and Dad stepped in... ( I think to make sure I didn't put myself in hospital) after not being on a bike for years he challenged himself to cycle my 20 mile target run with me, the last of the big ones and we did it! Having someone there especially Dad made the biggest difference and for the first time I can remember I've done something I can be proud of, I feel strong, I feel capable, I am beginning to accept and even like my body and mind and what it can achieve. I've started to look at myself differently. I have made it to 20 miles and if I have to crawl the last 6 so be it! I will be slow, I will be exhausted, I will be in pain but I will do this. This is a game changer...

It sounds stupid but I have learnt so much about myself and how to help myself from this challenge, more than the others I think... well what else are you going to think about pounding out all these miles alone? Thinking about cake only makes you hungry! I think I am learning to view life a little more like Nicky did.

Life is not to be wasted. Tomorrow is never promised.

Please if you can, help me raise money to help others tackle some of their challenges, help them have a choice and follow their inspirations. I don't care what target I reach, I've only set this up with 23 days to go but absolutely anything helps!

Thank you for reading this far....

sarah 💜😊X

www.nickysgivingfund.com