this is my lsst resort...

I am a single mummy. A Special guardianship carer to 2 children who are not biologically mine, and a mum to my own 5 year old daughter too. I have had Guardianship for my eldest two girls officially for the past almost 4 years, but they have lived with me for nearly 10.

I’m not sure how much detail I can go into, but their alcoholic birth mother (now deceased) was physically, mentally and verbally abusive towards them from the ages of 0-3/4. At ages 3 & 4, social services took them away, and placed them with heir father and I when we were together. After a long battle with fertility treatment and miscarriages, we finally had our own miracle baby in 2012. Their father became abusive to all 3 children including my new born baby so I kicked him out. Now I’m left with a (poorly) newborn and 2 children who aren’t biologically mine. Basically I spent 2 years fighting in court to get full custody of them, to stop them getting put into care.

Now these children aren’t just ‘normal’ children. They have 1 count of horrific early childhood trauma and abuse/neglect. They get removed and become attached to their fathers girlfriend -at the time (me). Then their own father starts abusing them each time my back was turned. Which in turn leads to a second count of horrific abuse and added early childhood trauma. Eventually, when I’m left on my own to bring them all up, I have worked very very hard to the detriment of my own mental health and well-being, to get them the support they need, the counselling and therapy, the diagnoses for the eldest who has fetal alcohol syndrome from the birth mother drinking during pregnancy. ADHD, sensory seeking disorder, behavioural issues, one functioning kidney, wetting issues and a lot more. They both have attachment disorder and massive effects from early childhood trauma.

Now fast forward nearly 4 years.... I own a house (mortgage) with an ex partner from 13 years ago. He now (understandably) wants his name removed from the mortgage. I however, can’t work full time with disabled and extremely challenging behaviour children, I do however, run my own small business from home. But dont earn a great deal from it. Therefore I cannot get the mortgage in my sole name. The council won’t re home us, as we are already housed and not a priority. When the house is sold and we become ‘homeless’ we would be sent to a town 20+ miles from their schools/friends/family etc (the children’s birth town) and put in temporary accommodation for up to 2 years. The children were brought up in this town, with their birth mother and they also moved 13 times into B&B’s and hotels due to the birth mothers behaviour and violence/aggression etc this would trigger lots of trauma memories for them and relive some of the horror they have been through.

Children with FASD have a life expectancy of 35. This is due to the brain damage from the alcohol in utero, in adulthood causing extreme depression, and lots of adults with FASD turn to alcohol or drugs or end up in prison.

I have put my whole life on hold for 5 years to pick up the broken pieces of these children’s lives and try and mend their shattered hearts and broken trust in adults, before I could even think about the trauma effects it has had on me. (Massive anxiety, depression and trauma projection from the children) not to mention huge trust issues with people around my children now.

I have exhausted every single option. Therefore, this is really my last resort. To air my whole life on here and hope someone will feel compassion for us to even donate whatever they can. The ideal situation would be to raise enough money, I know it’s highly unlikely, but if you don’t try, you won’t succeed, to be able to buy our home, so my children don’t become homeless. They have already had the most horrific start to life and do not deserve to go through any more trauma whatsoever. I am trying to protect them from that being a constant repeat in their lives.

If anyone can donate anything I will be forever grateful for your compassion and empathy and I know my children will grunt and shrug their shoulders, but they will be the happiest they’ve ever been.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts 💕💕