I have no idea where to start on this but we are in a rather horrible situation and find ourselves having to ask for your help. Sarah, my fiancee, and I began looking to buy our first house together in 2018 and, after searching for over 8 months, lots of stress and an awful lot of heartache over houses we lost out on, we finally bought our first house together in July 2019. For those that don’t know, the search for our dream house was much more complicated than usual as I am wheelchair bound. This had a huge impact on what we could look for as we needed any house/property to be accessible or have the potential to be adapted. After losing out on so many houses we finally found our dream bungalow. Before we went through with the sale we had the property assessed to ensure it was suitable to adapt and that I would be eligible for a Disabled Facilities Grant. We were given so much hope, we were told it would be possible to adapt the whole property to meet my needs including access ramps, a wetroom whilst keeping the bath for Kai (our little boy) and even an extension as it was likely the existing lounge would need to be used as a bedroom. With all this information we obviously bought the property and couldn’t believe how lucky we were. The bungalow is beautiful and has so much potential to allow me to leave the most independent life I possibly can.

Then we hit problems, after a lengthy and numerous visits with occupational therapists, hoist specialists and an architect it turns out most of the things we were told would be done in actual fact won’t be done and has now left us in a position where we are going to have to fund the changes needed ourselves! They have agreed to widen the necessary doorways, however have decided that the existing bedroom can have a hoist installed regardless of the fact the floor space to actually use the hoist is ridiculously small, barely allowing room for my chair let alone a carer to then move around the chair safely to put my sling into place and then hoist me. My only assumption on their decision with this is that they do not want me to use the lounge as a bedroom as they would have then provide a lounge area elsewhere which would require a small extension. Then to the bathroom, we were told that we could keep the existing bath due to having a small child yet the drawing that has been submitted to us shows that the entire bathroom has been ripped out and they haven’t even included a sink in the new wetroom. As for adapting the kitchen so that I can actually use it, baring in mind I struggle to even get a drink independently at the moment, they won’t be doing anything with that at all. With regards to access into the property, the council have stated that the minimum ramp they would have to install is 17feet. This would take up a huge portion of our drive making it almost impossible to use and it is essential we are able to use the drive as we live on a very busy main road right on a blind summit so cannot safely park on the road. It is also completely unnecessary to have such a large ramp as my wheelchair is powered and can deal with inclines without trouble.

On top of all of this, we have owned the property for 8 months so far and with the timescales given by the council, it will be at least another 12-13 months before there is even a chance of me being able to move into the property. Currently I am living in a council bungalow and Sarah is living at the new house, Sarah relocated to Derbyshire from Stoke to live with me and at the moment we are still having to form some sort of normality with us living in 2 houses. We are getting married on June 20th this year and have no chance of being able to live together once married which breaks our hearts. The mental stress this has caused has left us both needing counselling and both suffering with severe anxiety and mental health issues. I suffer with so much guilt and feeling responsible for the whole mess as I am the one that needs all the adaptations. Sarah feels like she has let me down and isn’t able to provide for me, which is not true.

Had we had the information we now know from the council we would never have bought this house. By buying a bungalow we maxed our budget as they come at a premium but it meant I could access the whole property, once the adaptations were complete. We have a very small pot of money left over to put towards the adaptations but no where near enough to cover it all.

So what do we need to do

ACCESS - We need to build ramped access to the front and rear of the property and install level access doors at these points. The initial thought is to install a very basic ramp at the front door made from concrete and then a main access ramp at the rear. The rear ramp would be slightly more complicated as would need to curve around a corner but this would give me access into the house, the garden and the office that we have had to purchase to allow Sarah to work from home. Initially Sarah’s workspace would have been in the house if the extension we were told about had actually happened but due to this not being the case we have had to fund an alternative.

DOORWAYS - All doorways, where possible need to be widened to allow for the electric wheelchair, a specialist armchair and shower chair. It is hoped that this will be relatively simple but we will be getting several quotes from builders on the work and cost involved in this.

WETROOM - The bathroom needs to be adapted to include a level access shower. We have spoken with a builder/plumber who agrees that there is ample space for shower and a bath once the bathroom is extended. At the moment the door way is too narrow to fit any chairs through and due to a boiler cupboard it isn’t easily widened. However the boiler can easily be relocated and the cupboard then absorbed into the bathroom to make it accessible and bigger.

KITCHEN - The kitchen is unfortunately not at all accessible for me, I am unable to safely reach any of the top units and cannot get under any work surface. Ideally the top units need to be fitted with adapted shelves that allow me to lower the contents of the units so I can reach them. I would also really benefit from a lowered work surface to allow me to be involved in food prep, increase my independance and enjoy activities like baking with Kai.

BEDROOM - When we first viewed the property with the OT (before we purchased it) we were informed that the best room for our bedroom was the current lounge and that the lounge would be ‘replaced’. However we have now been told that the existing bedroom is going to be used, which would be fine but it doesn’t allow anywhere near enough room to safely hoist me. It also means we are going to be limited on what bed we can have and so are going to need to include a specialist bed in the fundraising. This will mean that the space for hoisting will be a little bigger than expected and will increase the safety for myself and my carers. It will also mean that I do not have to get my sling put in place in the hall or lounge and so will keep my dignity.

At the moment we are unsure exactly how much money we are going to need to fundraise. We are very lucky that we have wonderful family and friends who are willing and able to do as much of that work as they possibly can but there are elements that need to be done professionally. We will be working over the next week or two to get specific quotes for the work needed and the materials. Our hope is that we can keep the costs as low as possible but the truth is that we cannot do this alone, our small pot of money unfortunately will not stretch to cover all the work. After weeks and months of thinking everything through, working on solutions and looking at timescales we have reached the point where we need to ask for help, and that is what we are doing. If you can help in any way by donations, getting involved in fundraising events, donating materials or time and even just sharing this, it will all be so very very gratefully appreciated.

As a young couple and family, we just want to be able to have a normal life and for me to have as much independence as possible. This house is one that we chose to be our forever home and never plan to move from, your help to make this a reality will mean the world to us.

Thank you so much for reading this far and for all your love and support

Jessica, Sarah and Kai xxx

“You are only as disabled as your environment makes you”