Its been quite a journey. After living in Switzerland for 4 years with a partner I had met in the UK, we decided that living together wasn't working for either of us, and my inability to communicate correctly with the people (although I tried) left me with a job that paid very little and this had a huge impact on our relationship.

I moved back to the UK at 30 with my parents; (something every 30 year old dreads) but was grateful enough that I had somewhere to come back too. For over a year without realising it I feel into a very deep depression, started hearing voices, and for over 2 years of social workers; psychiatrists and doctors still found found myself incapacitated from doing anything or even being happy; lleaving the house was a HUGE step and only went to my appointments, other than that, I didn't leave my room for over a year; my elderly mum sometimes having to sleep in the same room because the voices were so bad, she has always took care of me and put others before herself; she frequently came to visit me in Swiss and then suddenly; I don't have a car, have to explain if I wanted to go anywhere because of this dark time that sometimes still haunts me even to this day; everyday there are voices all this from having my own home, car, job, friends and social life.

The voices have been going on now around 4 years plus I would say, however over the last year and a half I was always complaining of pains in my lower back. I went to my doctor, I went to numerous doctors. No one really took me that seriously as I had my history of mental illness and put it down to seeking attention as one nurse said to my parents after I had collapsed at home waking up with this unprofessional medic making judgements on what he could see on my background and not what he could of heard if he had of approached me properly and asked.

For the year and a half, I noticed changes in my regularity which was not helped by menacing voices every time I tried to go to the toilet. 3 times the pain which I could never describe didn't help inducing a mania that I went into. No one believed me, my doctor putting me on codeine even with the problem passing anything. I would do anything to get this looked at, nurmous times I went into A and E and was basically ignored. These visits to A&E didnt include 3 stays in a mental ward where I went into voluntarily, the last entry, I went in on a promise of them getting a doctor to check my back