Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Soph and my pronouns are they/them.

Growing up, I never felt like I quite fit in with the people around me. I was never a girly girl and tended to gravitate more towards the term 'tomboy', however I still didn't feel fully comfortable or fully myself amongst the boys. I knew I was different in some way but couldn't pinpoint how, as I didn't have the language to explain it.

At the age of 11 or 12, I realised that I was gay. This realisation alleviated some of the confusion I felt about my identity for a while as I knew that queer women often dressed in a masculine way and defied gender roles. I started presenting a little bit more masculine in private rather than in public as I was worried about how people would perceive me. Over time, I knew that my sexuality wasn't the only thing I was struggling with it and that it was more gender related.

Without the language to put to it, I started thinking that maybe I was male. I knew that my body didn't fully align with how I identified and I knew that transgender people existed, but in my mind at that moment in time, I only thought that you could be male or female. I started dressing a little bit more masculine in public, or would simply wear clothes which would hide my body. Only upon moving out, going to University and exploring more queer identities, was it that I discovered the term non-binary.

This changed my whole perspective on how I had felt about myself from as far back as I could remember. I knew that I was definitely not female, but also that male didn't feel quite right. Non-binary gave me a word, an identity, which I finally felt a connection to. At the age of 19, I started wearing a chest binder to give the appearance of a flatter chest which made me feel much more comfortable in my body, and I started introducing myself as Soph with the pronouns they/them. People in my social circle at University began referring to me as such and it made me so happy. I knew that this was the right decision for me.

Knowing that binding my chest was a temporary solution made it difficult each day, especially with the strain it poses on my ribs and back, so eventually in 2021 I referred myself to an NHS dysphoria service with the goal in mind for top surgery - this would be a permanent flat chest. This was a big step for me as I was very nervous about the thought of talking to a professional about my gender identity, however, I found out that the waiting time for an initial appointment was over 6 years. With my gender dysphoria increasing each day, I knew that this was not a viable option for me.

This year, I have finally made the difficult decision to go private with my gender journey, which is much more beneficial in terms of the timeframe of my transition, however, it poses a big financial strain on myself. I have already used some of my savings to pay for an initial information gathering session, a diagnosis session and a surgery referral letter. As I am non-binary, which isn't currently a recognised gender identity by the UK government, a lot of surgeons require 2 referral letters from a psychologist/psychiatrist in order to discuss surgery options, so I am currently in the process of booking another session to receive a second letter. This has so far cost me just over £500 which is a fraction of the cost that a surgery will be - around £9000.

The goal of this fundraiser is to raise some of the funds towards that £9000, as taking out a loan of that size to pay for a surgery is not viable for myself to pay off. I am not asking for the full amount, but I would be grateful to anyone who donates and helps me to reach that overall goal. My new years resolution to myself this year was to finally put myself first and allow myself to feel comfortable within my body and this is a big step that I am trying to take to get there. If you can, please help me out with this.