(This her story )

when I was a child 8 years old i lost my mother by breast cancer when I lost my mother I lost my best friend. although my father was still alive and I have a lot of brother and sister. i was the last one of the family so I become the helper for my brothers no one didn't care if I have clothes. at 9 years old one of my brother proposed sex to me. one of my sister boyfriend tried to rape me. before my mum died she was Living Next Door to this family a old man and his wife there was really loving towards me one day asked my father if I can go and visit he said yes one of my brother tell me when to come back he give me one day but I stayed 2 days I didn't want to go back to my father and brothers when I get back home to my father i tell my father a lie that the lady said I can come back he said ok so the next day i went back funny enough my brother didn't said anything. I was living there I was so much happier. the lady asked did I christening i tell her no she take me to the church she and her husband become my Godfather and godmother. when I was 10 years old my godmother grandson rapes me he was about 18 to 19 years old come over sometime to visit one day I was home with him and my nephew my nephew was about 12 years old he look and do notting i think he did know that i was going to be rape I think it was a plan. when my godmother grandson raped me he told me if I tell anyone I have to go back onto my father. didn't want to go back so I didn't tell anyone after that every time when he comes over he tried to pick up me I don't know why maybe think I was going to be ok with what he done to me but because of that day i change against him. my Godmother always go away to the United States when i get to age 12 to 13 my Godfather start to come into my room at night I have to fight him off every night. age 15 I couldn't take it anymore i went to live with my sister the house that my sister live I couldn't stay there I couldn't stay with my sister forever because the house was not hers. I dropped out of school when I say poor family my family was really really really poor. when I was living with my godmother and Godfather i was the best artists in my class. at age 16 i went back to my father I went back in everything i ever learn I was not a artist anymore I tried to copy draw things that I draw before and I couldn't do it. I went backward in my reading. I start work at age 17 went to live on my own at age 17. at age 22 I come to England. age 24 I got married I've been fighting with immigration ever since. have tried to get pregnant for my husband I can't get pregnant for some reason I don't know why I don't know if it's what I've been through my marriage breakdown I got divorced. start my own business my business was going on so good people loves me I love people I spend so much money with lawyers immigration fee I did six your lawfully after the 6 years I sent for my indefinite the home office turn me down they said I must go back home because of the spending with home office fee solicitor fee and the stress I start to get dizziness. sometime it affect my eyes. some time I feel pain in my ears. I start having high blood pressure. chest pain I go to the hospital so many times. some time when I feel a pain in my chest I don't want to go to the hospital because I'm thinking they may tired of me coming they run test and my heart my heart is ok. but am still feeling the pain high blood pressure so I couldn't do my business anymore now I have nothing. yes I have family back home I can choose my friends but I can't use my family's I can't go back to that family I Have Nothing where I'm coming from I just can't take this pain. people see me but they don't know my pain. because my life is such an embarrassment I don't put up my pictures because I am embarrassed. please help me get my life back together if you can thank you God bless you