Story
I am on a journey to become a life stages doula, guiding people through the transitional phases of life, from preconception and adoption to relationship milestones, celebrations of ageing and growing, and finally through death and grief-work. I believe there is a particular need for this kind of work in LGBTQIA+, working class, disabled and BIPOC communities who are under-supported by many traditional medical and religious establishments. I want to fill that gap with compassionate pastoral care, advocacy, celebration and understanding of lives not catered to by institutions set up to cater to cisgender heterosexual and monosexual people. I intend to offer my services on a sliding scale so it is affordable to working class marginalised people with the more able to pay subsidising access for other clients. Everyone deserves to live and love and die with dignity and support - I plan to have the type of practice where no-one will be turned away for financial reasons and marginalised clients are prioritised in ways payment focused services just don't support them.
I have written a self-taught Masters program to enable me to do this work. This crowdfunding page is to pay for training I wish to do with Red Tent Doulas (their birth and death doula qualification courses cost £450 each) and to pay for books and materials useful for my studies. If I get near my goal I might raise the target to afford equipment for my doula practice, but my first focus is covering the costs of qualifying.
To give you an idea of what a life stages doula might do, here is a sample work week diary for showing you what my week might look like. All names and life circumstances are for example only, but each is an example of something I will train to be capable of providing:
Sunday - visiting with Maryam, Delilah and Aisha a set of non-monogamous parents who's first child has suddenly died. Together we will work to develop some care routines to make sure they each have outlets for processing their grief both separately and together.
Monday - attending a hospital appointment with Jacob, a disabled man undergoing cancer treatment to support him advocating for his needs after previous discrimination he has experienced due to using AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication).
Tuesday - supporting Max and Aoife through their next round of fertility treatment. We will prepare through a small private prayer ceremony at home before going to the clinic. Max is a trans man who will be carrying a pregnancy, and purpose at the clinic will be to see that his identity is respected by clinic staff during treatment.
Wednesday - hosting the fourth of five Circlework sessions for survivors of sexual violence, preparing for an upcoming communal mikvah ceremony. Visiting Daniel at home after he has been released from being sectioned.
Thursday - Preparatory session with Rivkah for her post-transition naming ceremony. Evening celebration ceremony for Aoife, Ruven, Gabriel, Dawn and Bella who have finished a set of education sessions about puberty, self advocacy and growing up (this is a secular "graduation" celebration based off the idea of a b'nei mitzvah).
Friday - Attending a midwife appointment with Debi who has a history of birth related trauma which she feels her midwife is ignoring. Meeting with David and Saul who are writing their interfaith ketubah (marriage contract). Hosting a Kabbalat Shabbat celebration.
Anyone who donates £10 or more is welcome to request a tarot or oracle reading appointment from me via video call. Previously I've written and hosted a survivors tashlich service here in Manchester and I'm happy to send copies of the liturgy for it to all backers who request it. Rabbis in the Reform movement who have read it have made the following comments:
Thank you for this helpful and rather special resource.
Really powerful stuff.
This is incredibly powerful and beautifully put together – thank you.
I can do this work compassionately and well. I hope you'll come on this journey with me.
