Stav Bryant - Why I'm raising money

As most of you are aware, I’m going to be taking part in a charity boxing event raising money for cancer which is a massive deal for a lot of people and has affected many of us in more ways than one. I would also like to raise some money on the side of this for a friend of mine, Aaron Marshall. I gained some knowledge of Aaron being ill but wasn’t sure how bad it was.

I had spoken to him and he played it down and continued to laugh and joke as normal. He has to be the most happy, funny bloke I know. I’ve never seen him not smiling. Anybody who knows him will always have only good words to say about him. But, once I dug deeper I gained more knowledge that his condition was pretty bad and that was quite upsetting really. You never think someone you know will ever be faced with such bad luck. For me, looking at him and his family just made me see how much stronger this has made them.

I approached Aaron and explained I wanted to raise some money on his behalf to help them as a family as they’ve had a terrible year and I thought it would be amazing to give something positive for them to look forward to for the end of the year. BUT being the kind of bloke Aaron is, proud and very kind, he and his family refused to accept the offer of a donation of money. So, instead Aaron has decided he would like to make a donation to Hannah’s Holiday Appeal which is also a great cause. They heard of Aaron’s story and sent him and his family on a trip to one of their sites, for free, to give them a break and enjoy some time away.

I will be doing the charity boxing event on 18/11/17 at the Marriott Hotel in Portsmouth. All money raised via this page will be given directly to Aaron to donate to the charity on his behalf. Every £250 raised will pay for a family, like Aarons, to have a free holiday funded.

I have the story from Aaron’s wife (below) who has really stepped up and showed what true love looks like. She meant the vows she took the day they married and has stuck by him throughout. Please take the time to read as it will definitely make you appreciate how lucky we are to have good health and also just how lucky Aaron is to still be here.

Thank you for reading and just remember every little helps so if you can make a donation that would be lovely. Thanks for your time and donation.

For more information on the charity please visit: www.hannahsappeal.org

Aaron's Story

When I think back on the last year its hard to put in to words how its been, a year filled with desperation, tears, sadness and very low times.

This time last year we were blissfully unaware of what was to come. We were living our life somewhat smug that we had each other, happily married for 6 years and still going strong, a lovely home and two boys that we are so proud of.

Unknown to me, Aaron had been unwell for some months but did his best to hide it from my anxious worried mind, all the while I knew something wasn’t right but denial became a good friend of mine.

The thing is, Aaron had been unwell before on and off for years following a bout in hospital and a week in ITU in 2009 when he had a number of pancreatitis attacks. Because we didn’t know what had caused him to have this, we lived on edge for some time but eventually moved on with reminders every so often that came in the form of Aaron feeling ill with sickness and fatigue but nothing major.

Eventually it became too much to ignore. I sent Aaron to the doctors. Nothing came of the bloods so that put our minds at rest until he became too unwell to even go up the stairs without feeling like he may pass out. Aaron was taken to hospital and we were informed he had a bleed internally through oesophageal varacies caused by portal hypertension. We were told that Aaron was around 48 hours from collapsing and needing resuscitating due to his blood being so low. The portal hypertension was linked to the pancreatitis and damage caused in 2009 but due to no after care this was completely missed.

Aaron had blood transfusions and was expected to make a full recovery with the right care and medication.

Aaron then continued to bleed and on two occasions needed emergency hospital treatment. He was then referred to London Royal Free hospital and this was where we were to realise the full extent of the damage and Aaron’s condition. Aaron had splenic thrombosis and splenic vein thrombosis along side the portal hypertension, they made it clear that an operation was last resort. Surgeons were not prepared to operate due to the risk that Aaron had of bleeding however, in the end there was no other choice. He couldn’t continue without an op to attempt to remove his spleen and splenic vein. A professor was presented with Aaron’s case who wanted to try and re graft Aaron’s vein and perform a mesenteric shunt. They were very clear that this was a dangerous operation and that he may not survive, but ultimately, without the operation he may not survive either. The operation was planned and it was a two week wait. The wait was difficult. Aaron continued to deteriorate as we struggled with day to day life and keeping things normal for our boys. During the wait, he again suffered a huge bleed. I had a call to tell me to get to the hospital ASAP as he was in the resussetation unit and had a team working on him preparing to take him to emergency theatre. I was let in to see him and all I could see was blood. All I could smell was blood. I will always remember the feeling I felt that day, It felt like time had stopped. I felt a huge ache in my heart and finally understood the meaning of a ‘heavy heart’. There was so much I wanted to say to him, apologise for anything bad I had ever said in an argument no matter how small, tell him how much love him and what admiration I had for him for everything he had ever done for us as a family. There was too much to say and not enough time. Aaron pulled me close and winked at me. He told me he would get through this and to stop what I was thinking because he knew.

My dad came to the hospital and I remember seeing him walk down the corridor with his arms open. He held me up in his arms when I couldn’t stand and there we stayed. Aaron came out of theatre after what felt like days but he was ok. He was taken again to London by transfer to await the operation.

Separation was hard. Trying to get our 5 year old to understand what was going on was heart breaking. He wasn’t old enough to understand but was still old enough to know things weren’t right. Overhearing conversations and pieces from people who came to see me to support me meant that our little 5 year old boy went to bed every night needing reassuring that his daddy would come home. The thing is, I wanted to hide it all but there were far too many days that I crumbled, far too many reminders of how hard life had become and the cloud that hung over my head just became too big to hide. We were then faced with the fact that Aaron’s operation was cancelled 4 times due to no ITU beds (common with the NHS even with such emergency operations) Aaron was again sent back home.

What happened in between was frustration and desperation and me caring for Aaron due to his condition getting the better of him. I woke hourly in those two weeks and would put my hand on Aaron’s chest and check he was still with us. He was at huge risk of bleeding and even more so as he was on a high dose of blood thinners to prevent his clotting from getting worse so we knew that any signs of bleeding we needed to act fast.

Sleepless and fearful nights filled the house. The days were long, the nights were worse. Faking smiles for the boys became a regular from us both. It felt we had nothing left but love and we survived the wait on just that. It soon became evident that Aaron really wasn’t Aaron anymore. I lost my husband back in November last year and the reality of that consumed me for weeks if not months after.

Family and friends had become our survival.

I felt like a little girl again and spent endless nights sobbing in to my mums arms. By morning I was back to being mum to my own children who didn’t understand and their innocent little minds that I had to protect.

Aaron finally had the operation. It was an 11 hour operation that was cut short as they couldn’t re graft his vein due to massive bleeding. The wait was excruciating and there was nothing I could do. There was no other option other than for Aaron to survive this. We were told he bled a lot and they nearly lost him twice but he was ok. The feeling of relief when I was told he was ok was a familiar one, like I could breathe again.

Aaron spent three weeks in hospital recovering and was discharged with a drain in situ. We returned to London to have this removed and on the way home Aaron deteriorated rapidly. I pulled over and he was rushed to the closest hospital in Frimley.

It was here he got worse. He was diagnosed with Sepsis 48 hours after arrival. My heart sank. After all the research we had done we knew sepsis was the one infection Aaron didn’t want to get after a recent splenectomy, yet here we were. They told us Aaron had pulmonary embolisms and then found further clot in his jugular vein. Aaron was battling a life threatening infection and the issue of further clots. Just when we thought that we had got through the worst, this happened.

Aaron then became stronger. He had described the infection as the worst he had ever felt as strength, speech and even breathing was an issue. Amazingly with the correct anti-bionics and fast action Aaron made a fairly rapid recovery. He was let home on various medication which are life long in most cases.

In summary Aaron does not have a Spleen or left Kidney and has Chronic Pancreatitis, Pulmonary Embolisms within his lungs and various clots. The likelihood of further operations in the near future is something we have had to accept.

Despite this I finally got him back! The hard working, fun, fiery, positive and above all, happy Aaron is back. He manages to fill our home with such positivity and true love for everything.

You could say that his strongest asset is his heart both physically and metaphorically. Aaron has shown true character in life threatening situations. He remained my strength throughout despite what he was battling in his own mind. He's hard working and a perfect role model to our boys.

I’d like to say we have had our fair share of destruction lately but what I can say? Whatever is thrown at us, we will get through even if all we have left is love.

Lianne (Aaron's wife)