Hi everyone, my name is Steve and I am 35years old from Gloucester in England. I am married to my rock(Emma) and our beautiful 11yr old daughter(Faith)

I have suffered with depression and BPD ever since I can remember but up until 5years ago I never went to a doctor. My child hood was not great and myself and my brother(Peter) were in and out of care. I had lost both of my parents before my 16th birthday.

On the 21st of July 2011 was the worst day of my life, I let everything get ontop if me and I did the most unthinkable thing to myself...I stabbed myself with a 7inch kitchen knife.. Without going into huge graphic detail I was rushed into Hospital and I had perforated my bowl, after being in an induced coma for 3weeks, my wife was told to gather family and friends as it might be the last time they can see me.. All of a sudden I turned a corner and my body started to respond to medication. I spent a total of 2 and a half months in Hospital and had 11 operations on my abdomen and bowl..

Today I am on medication for my depression and BPD and I am truly happy,and sadly there is a "butt"

In the U.K they do not do the surgery I need to save my life, the only place that does is the U.S. My GP told me that if these hernias are left like they are, they will continue to get bigger and eventually strangulate. I have always worked since I was 16yrs old but now I am classed as disabled in England and I have no way I could ever afford to get this treatment without help.

To anyone who could possibly help me, and my family I don't think I could ever thank you enough, even if its 1p,its 1p more than I had.

I did a stupid thing and I'm truly paying for it now.

My Dream Job

My dream Job would be to help young people with depression and/or bereavement. Maybe if I had had support I would not of done such a silly thing later in life.

The clock is really ticking for me and its a scary feeling.

Thank You evryone