On the 18th of July an emergency MRI showed Cauda Equina Syndrome (CAS) in my.spine. This is very rare and only 1 in 100,000 people with disc problems will be diagnosed with the condition. It was a race against time to save the functionality in my lower body & I was blue lighted to a hospital with a specialist spinal unit for emergency surgery that happened there and then.

When I woke I could not feel anything from the waist down. A new fight was to begin on this day.

I had to fight to be okay. To come to terms with what had happened. To take in all the information I was being told by the therapists on the specialist spinal unit. Two weeks had me being able to tentatively weight bear if I used a frame. I was discharged on the understanding that therapy and outreach would continue in the community when I got home. This did not happen.

All the professional bodies there to help me let me down & now I need private physiotherapy that I will need to pay for. I need equipment that is better than the wonky frame that I was fobbed off with. I need help with many things and while I am used to paying for things that I deserve out of pocket, I cannot cope with the influx of costs that will come if I want to get out of my bed. If I want to get better.

And I do! I want to put everything I have into it. I just need some help from anyone who might see this so I can get the equipment I need and work with a physio to get stronger, before I lose any more mobility. I still can't feel my body from the waist down and that effects so much, even my bladder and bowels. I don't know how I can move but I can, with muscle memory and sheer determination probably. I need to channel this into something that will get me back to where I was, at least before the accident and the surgery, and then maybe even further than that. I'm not going to give up.

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Thank you so much for reading & for sharing or donating. This would not be possible without you. Xxx