You Alright Mate?

This is a cause that I feel doesn't get enough attention in society... and us guys are mostly to blame for it because we bottle things up!

It's time for men to talk about mental health...

According to The Samaritans, in 2015 there were 6,639 suicides in the UK. The highest rate was among men aged 40-45!!! Time and again, you hear their loved ones saying 'he never said anything, we didn't have a clue anything was wrong'!

This is 2018 fellas, lets evolve... it's time for us to start asking each other the question You Alright Mate? And for us to start answering honestly and open up!

So here I go... I am a 45 year old man on my own. I have been suffering from mental health issues for many years now, but the past 5 years have been really tough.

The pressures of modern life were too much for me to take! I couldn't physically work any more than I was, I wasn't earning enough money to pay for everything and I couldn't cope. There were family issues at home, that I didn't know how to deal with, I didn't know where to turn to for support and then eventually I felt so low and completely useless, that I became depressed. After a coupe of years struggling along, it got so bad that I had to make a decision... end it all and relieve myself of the stress and anxiety that was haunting me every minute of every day, or change my circumstances. Which for me meant leaving my family, my home and everything I had so that I could find a way to change my life from a living nightmare, to a living joy!

So just over a year ago, I wrote my partner a note, made an excuse to go out, and I left, with little more than a bag of clothes and a few essentials! It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do... but my life had become so miserable, I had to believe I was doing the right thing for the long term. The depression was robbing my kids of their Dad... so my motivation was for me to fix myself, so I could be the best Dad I can for my kids... a little more than a year later, after a lot of hard work and effort, I am in a much better place, I'm off the anti-depressants I was taking, I have control of my thoughts and feelings again (most of the time!), and my life is a much more enjoyable experience than it was 14 months ago! But most importantly... my girls have got their fun, happy, loving Dad back!

I've still got a long way to go before my life is where I want it to be... and although I would consider my mental health to be in a much better state than it was, I am still only at the beginning of my journey really. I may have confronted most of my issues and dealt with many of them in some way or another, but there is still so much I want to learn, there are so many things I want to experience and ultimately I want to be able to share it all, so I can help other men who are going through or have been through what I have and make a positive difference to their lives...

My old life was a nightmare, trapped in a massively expensive rented property, so we couldn't save for a deposit, working all the hours I could, barely managing to make ends meet, going to food banks and debts spiralling out of control. I had become so despondent because we were basically burying our heads in the sand and ignoring how bad things had got. But the consequence of my behaviour is that, I am now a liability! I have CCJ's and a terrible credit score! In order to get my finances back on track I am in the process of having to pay back all the debts that accrued while I was ill, which will take me years!!! What this means is, I am still having to work all hours God sends and still don't have anything left 24 hours after I've been paid.

I would like to join a fitness club, to try and make new friends, get a bit of support and possibly train to become a Physical Trainer myself, but I can't afford it!

I would like to get on a course to learn computer skills, so I can open up new career possibilities for myself, but I can't afford it!

I have some business ideas, but have no idea how to go about starting them and would like to employ the services of a coach for some help and guidance, but I can't afford it!!!

In fact, all I can afford to do is survive... and living like that is dangerous for your mental health!!!

So here I am... Starting up a JustGiving page to raise funds for men like me, with the intention of giving them the chance to make positive changes and improve their lives and their futures. All we need is a little help, support and guidance and a small donation from everyone to help me help them! I am currently developing a website called You Alright Mate? to run alongside this fund, so I can provide somewhere for men to go and find a sympathetic ear and maybe even a solution to their problems. Maybe I could even help in my own way to reduce the suicide rate among men in this country, which, as I said earlier, is something that has become a real issue in the UK...

It's time to take action!

My intention is to be able to use the fund to help out guys that are struggling to find a way out of the rut... so if there are any fellas that have an idea of how they can make a positive change to their future by retraining for a new career or attending a course to help them better themselves, then this is where they can come for help. I will be asking plenty of questions of any potential recipient and there will be a criteria that will need to be met before any funds would be offered.

I am also currently working on proposals with 3 different organisations that have helped me on my journey this year. These organisations will be able to offer help, support and advice on the three main things that I have focused on during my recovery... a healthy diet, plenty of exercise and a happy mind!

So please, help me make a difference...

Thank you and bless you.