Ruby Rose Ansell was due to be born by a planned caesarean section at 38 weeks gestation on the 17th of August 2012. However on just 2 days before this we felt no movement from when I woke up until gone lunch time. Concerned but not too worried as it wasn't abnormal to feel reduced movement in the later stages of pregnancy I called the midwife and was offered a quick check up to put our minds at rest. On arrival it took a few moments to find any trace of a heartbeat, but eventually something was picked up, but it was very slow for a baby. So the decision was made very quickly to transfer us in an ambulance to Broomfield hospital for an emergency caesarean. Everything happened very quickly after that moment. Once in theatre Ruby was born within minutes but it was obvious from the start that something was very wrong. Ruby was lifeless and not breathing. The doctors tried desperately to resuscitate her but it was to no avail. The consultant looked at us sadly and shook his head. "I'm so sorry", he said. Our precious, beautiful daughter had died. She was stillborn, on the 15th of August 2012, weighing 8 pounds and 10 ounces. We spent exactly 24 hours with Ruby in hospital, giving her cuddles and kisses, taking photographs that we will treasure forever. The care we received was second to none. Our midwives helped us with a memory box for Ruby. They took prints of her hands and feet, and a little lock of her thick dark hair for us to keep. We dressed her in a little pink vest, baby grow, and a little pink hat and wrapped her up in her pink blanket that her older sister Amy had been jealous of from the moment she had laid eyes on it. The consultant came to see us and told us that the heartbeat we had heard must have been my own because it was obvious from the condition of Ruby's skin that she had probably died the night before she was born. Our parents came to see us and meet their granddaughter for a cuddle. Leaving our darling girl in the hospital, giving her one last kiss, was the single most difficult thing either myself or max have ever had to do. For months we had dreamt of that moment we left the hospital with our bundle of joy, and all we had to leave with was a memory box and a broken heart.
We would like to raise some money for SANDS because something as simple as that memory box helped to make that day just a little bit easier, because in that situation you really do not know where to turn first. I joined the SANDS forum after reading some of the leaflets that came with the memory box and have found many many new friends that are going through the same devestating experience, and through SANDS we are able to be there for one andother.
We are raising money through various events, including raffles, fund raising evenings and personal challenges. Any donation is so greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read our story. Max, Lesley, jack & Amelia x
