Edit - Due to poor weather conditions, I was unable to jump on my birthday. The skydive has been re-booked for the 7th Nov in Swindon. Fingers crossed it goes ahead this time!

My name is Kayleigh Beall and for nearly all of my childhood, I was bullied. This is my story.

I was diagnosed with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder at the age of 13, after 10 years of my family looking for the reason behind my strange behaviour. I was never very social as a child, preferring my own company or that of my many 'imaginary friends'. This drew the attention of school bullies from a very young age. I suppose the bullying started at nursery, from what I've been told, but I can't remember that far back.

Primary school seemed like hell at the time but it was nothing compared to what was to come when I moved up to Raincliffe. I spent five years as a victim of a campaign of bullying by what seemed at the time like the whole school. I had my bag stolen, I was spat on, I was pushed into lockers and I was called things I'll never forgot. "Freak! Spaz! You should have been shot at birth! If you were a hooker, you'd have to pay people to sleep with you!" Those words are still with me to this day and I doubt they'll ever truly go away. Whoever said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," lead an extremely sheltered life and certainly never went anywhere near Raincliffe. Though I must say, the hooker insult was at least original. :D

I was suicidal from the age of 11 but I never attempted suicide because I was too afraid of it going wrong and me being physically disabled for the rest of my life and now longer in a position to try again. I'll give you a minute for that to sink in. I didn't commit suicide because I knew I only had one shot and I didn't want to mess it up. That and I was (and still am) afraid of physical pain. Those were the only reasons. Not even love for my family made me want to live.

The last two years of Raincliffe were better. I'd learnt to pretend the insults were a joke and found out that 9 times out of 10, they were. People had just been messing around, found my reaction funny and kept going. After working that out, I no longer reacted the same and over time, the bullying calmed down. I don't blame anyone at Raincliffe for what they did to me, we were just kids and none of us knew what we were doing. If any of them still held the same attitude today, well, that might be a different story.

Last summer, I went to a Mind Body Spirit fair in Liverpool when I was over at my mum's in Warrington. In one corner, I saw a stall raising funds for Red Balloon Learner Centres, centres that provide education for severely bullied children who are too afraid to attend mainstream school, and my whole life changed. No, I mean it! This was the safe haven I'd been searching for, five years too late. I never knew that those centres had existed at the time I was being bullied (the 1st one opened in 1996 in Cambridge) so I missed my chance. I'm at university now so I'd like to think it hasn't held me back too much over the years, though it hasn't helped. I wish the same could be said for friends I have who were bullied at school though. :(

I've now got a purpose in life again, after losing my way for a while when I finally got to university, the goal I'd been aiming for my entire life. I'm going to be a teacher at a Red Balloon Centre, no matter what it takes. I'm going to give children the chances that me and my friends never had and I need your help to do it. On the 30th August 2010 (my 21st birthday), I'm going to complete a tandem skydive to raise money for this wonderful charity. I will jump out of a plane at a height of approximately 13,000 feet in the air, with an instructor strapped to my back. It's the most terrifying thing I've contemplated doing in a long time but it still doesn't compare to the fear of attending school every day under the threat of constant violence and abuse. It's too late for me and my friends, we've already struggled through school and now have to make our own way in the world with what help we can find. And it's certainly too late for all the children who have committed suicide already because of bullying. If children are our future, then how much of our future have we already lost? Please donate now and help me to save those children that are still suffering. Do this in my name. Thank you. x

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