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On the 19th August I will be jumping from 14.500 feet with Sky Dive North West... The charity Sane was chosen by others also jumping but is something very secret to me...

For years I have battled with my own demons being given labels by others, whether that is the term mental health, illness, disability, learning disabilities, insane, attention seeker, liar, manipulator........... all other peoples opinions... 

When I was 10 years old much much adversary went on in my life and my parents lives where so turned up side down I bottled everything up which later manifested into physically, mental and emotional disease........ 

At 13 I really started to struggle and by 14 I was taking regular overdoses......

At 15 after wanting to jump from my school window and yet another failed suicide I reached out for help yet again... I finally turned to social services for help and when my mum told them to keep me it was the start of me getting all the right help.... At 15 I had a termination and all the bottling things up started over again.  

At 17 (pregnant again) when my son was 7 months old things just came to ahead for me and everything was to much all the bottled stuff wanted to come up and being a mum i didn't have the time for it I spent 13 weeks in a mental health hospital to attempt to unlock this box which to be honest became the start of me no longer working with conventional treatments... I did not want to be DRUGGED........ Medicated...

At 18 I divorced becoming a single mother to my 2 year old and started studying psychology and human potential....

At 20 I had my second child and the start of my body falling to bits....

At 21 my Mum appeared on a TV show talking about mine and her experiences at teenage mothers but also highlighting that from a child I have always had low self esteem.... Something that started to raise many questions in me and the start of me spiraling out of control....  

I had always had borderline challenges with food but this was the start of me going from a size 18 after the birth on my son to an 8 within months... not even 6 months....

My health fell to pieces, life became challenging.................................

My then husband was still in the army and things where very difficult living back in my home area but I did meet the most amazing doctor, one who really listened, who was able to grab hold of me and stop me falling further into a deep dark whole.....

At 22 I was yet given another label Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) which compasses several types of inherited connective tissue disorders.

Connective tissue provides support to parts of the body such as the skin and muscles, but in EDS the collagen that gives strength and elasticity to connective tissue is faulty.

This results in hyperelastic skin that's fragile and bruises easily, excessive looseness of the joints, blood vessels that are easily damaged and, rarely, rupture of internal organs.

There are six major types of EDS, categorised according to signs and symptoms, and the condition can range from mild to life-threatening.

At 24 when I separated (yes a second divorce by 24) this became me time.... what i want.... but getting there was never going to be as easy as I first through....

As a single mother with the physical struggles that I was having I went off to University........................ I graduated in 2006 going on to further studies and programmes in the personal development world.

Another failed relationship and two more beautiful children I decided it was time to finally deal with my demons..

In 2010 a media snowball or should I say cut, paste, edit went off about me as a single mother with a disability trapped in the benefit system............... Before this I was a mother living in rented accommodation had what the Daily Mail called a successful life........ but what I didn't have..... was my self respect....

In May 2011 I went self employed...... In September 2011 this was the start of my fall............... With me and the children then needing to move into what is classed as homeless accommodation....

March 2012 the greatest day of my life when after 12 years of being on disability benefit I finally handed it all back.... not because I wasn't entitled but because I couldn't live focused on what I couldn't do, I was fearful of good days, or feeling great and wanting to try something new..... So I made the decision to just hand it all over, car included.....

For the last 12 years I have battled with living with such a hidden condition that resulted in many judgements from others. It has been a challenge but the hardest thing to keep on top on has been my own sanity.....................

I may not of had family to support me at this time but I have been so blessed to live in a country where the systems around support and enable those without the support from others... This has also meant with years of doctors, hospitals, treatments, surgeries, daily management I have been supported by the Department of Working Pensions.... 

So here we are... heading into a new September...... where will I be......... I have no clue... but i do have this burning desire to do something have been trapped in fear.... 

So when my Aunty Christine decided to do a sponsored jump last year I thought yes.... I want to do this..........

 

This is so much more than just jumping out a plane.......

 

This is a measurement of what else I can do.....

 

This for me is the road to freedom.... The path way to possibilities....

This for me just ripped all the red tape to pieces, this for me is my yes I can to all that told me I couldn't.....

 

All the people who predicted my future based on what they think they know about me................. Well guess what..... they where all wrong...

This jump is the start of a whole new level of self esteem not just for me but for every person you are now also supporting....

Your support is amazing and I so appreciate every penny raised.....

So many people are trapped in darkness and its time everyone saw the light................................................................................................

 

Much Love Kellie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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