Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.
15 years ago my father died.
6 months later I was knocked sideways by an immense feeling of loss, anger, sadness and even thoughts of suicide. I thought taking some time off work was the answer, but this just made things worse. I had not told anyone in my family that I was not going to work choosing to bottle up my emotions instead.
Not knowing what to do with my time off, I spent much of my day alone in silence and darkness. I was left feeling evermore helpless and alone. My Mum had put a leaflet detailing the work of Cruse Bereavement Care in my car and said perhaps you should read it. Me being me, the leaflet stayed in my car for 2 weeks or more before I read the contents. It truly changed me. In an instant I rang to arrange a face-to-face meeting with a Cruse Volunteer. This in itself changed my outlook; I then had something new to worry about - what was I going to say to this stranger; What questions will they ask; Will they think I'm mad and have me committed? All manner of gobbledy-gook was whirling around my head.
The day of the meeting finally came - What was I doing? How was talking to a stranger going to help? After the knock at the door, I was asked by the lady if she could have a cup of tea, this put me straight at ease.
90 minutes later, I think this was still the only question she had asked! The Lady listened attentively to me rant on and on about my anger/rage/confusion/anxieties etc. There was nothing but positive thoughts and affirmations coming from this lady. As she left my house she said, " all your thoughts are natural and normal, here's my details call me if you need to talk again".
I never did contact her again as she had put my mind at rest - no more anger and definately no more suicidal thoughts. I wish I could just say thankyou to her now!!
I'm now left with just an air of sadness as each March 17th comes around thinking of all the times my dad has missed with my family both good and bad. I miss him greatly but thanks to Cruse I'm still here to be able to acknowledge these feelings.
By way of saying thankyou I will be running the Two Castles 10km race in June; the Kenilworth Half Marathon in September and sometime closer to Christmas I intend to row 100km on a Concept2 indoor rower all on behalf of Cruse Breavement Care.
Please spare me whatever you can as I'm not built for running and it's going to be far less physically painful if I know I'm doing this to myself for a good reason. Go on, give me some motivation - you know you want to.
THANKYOU!!
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