Like a cad on the Titanic, I'm running for the lifeboats.

 

I am physically unsuited to long distance running and anticipate this will hurt quite a lot. I don't like running. In fact, my entire sporting career has involved running a maximum of about 15 yards in order to hit someone. The idea of running more than 26 miles without even the consoling crunch of a collapsing ribcage at the end of it is frankly almost too much to bear.

 

So if you'd like to see me in pain and you fancy giving some cash to a bunch of folks who one day might be fishing your sorry ass out of the ocean, then you're on the right page. As much as I'd like to give you a heartwarming story about the time the RNLI saved me from certain death, this isn't X Factor. Truth is, they have cool boats and I thought that if I raised £2,300 for them, they might let me have a go in one.

 

Please give generously. That couple of grand isn't going to raise itself, you know.