The short version:

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page, it means a lot to me (and 1,000’s of others) that you have taken the time and if possible make a small donation.

I will be ‘attempting’ to complete the Prudential 100 mile sportive on the 10 August 2014 in aid of the British Tinnitus Association (BTA).

So why am I riding for the BTA?

In 2008 my life took a dramatic change when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. The subsequent surgery, although it has removed the tumour has left me with chronic tinnitus which has dramatically reduced the quality of my life. I am not alone in my suffering as millions of people around the world are plagued with this ‘no silence’ affliction

Tinnitus is defined as a noise in the head or ears which has no external source and no current cure. 10% of UK adults have tinnitus of varying severity, with one in ten going on to report it severely effects their quality of life resulting in depression, anxiety, stress and sleep deprivation.

The BTA is a world leader in providing free support and advice about tinnitus to tinnitus sufferers and helps raise awareness to prevent others from developing this debilitating condition.

They also fund research to ultimately find a cure so that millions of us may one day experience silence again!

Cycling has become one of my only methods of coping with tinnitus and it feels like the perfect way to help raise awareness of the condition and hopefully raise some donations to further fund the BTA in their work.

To give me a fighting chance of completing the sportive I have already started training, you can keep up to date with my progress by following me on twitter @tinternet_tim

Thanks again for taking the time to visit my sponsorship page, it really is appreciated.

 

The Long Version – How I developed Tinnitus and how I try to cope with the condition (you might want to grab yourself a coffee and cake for this one!....you have been warned ;-)

I have suffered from mild tinnitus for about 12 years. I had always put it down to nightclubs and a slightly over exuberant lifestyle when I was younger! About 7 years ago I awoke one morning to find that the tinnitus had dramatically increased in volume, again I thought it was because I was out the night before however on this occasion as the days and weeks went by there was no easing up of the symptoms.

I finally headed to the doc’s who did all the usual checks and basic tests to no avail.

After another 3-4 months I was finally sent to an ENT specialist who sent me for an MRI scan. The ENT consultant didn’t give me any indication what could be the cause and what they were looking for, however Google is a powerful source and information and I suppose deep down I knew what could be one possible outcome….& there it was, one week later I was called back to see the specialist telling me I had a type of brain tumour.

One blessing was that it wasn’t malignant (always a bonus), nevertheless there was something in there that shouldn’t have been and it needed removing. The type of tumor was an Acoustic Neuroma that grows on the hearing nerve. As it gets larger it has nowhere to go but towards the brain and brain stem squashing everything it comes in contact with, hence the hearing issues.

There was a six month wait for surgery, but 6 years ago this coming July, I went under the knife for it to be removed.

I knew many of the possible risks and possible outcomes of surgery. Excluding the obvious risk of someone rummaging around inside your head, there were quite a few which I was told were unlikely but I needed to be aware of. These were hearing loss on the side of the tumor (90% chance…ok, so that’s a given, but I’ll live with that one), facial paralysis if they damage the facial nerve taking the tumor out (10% chance), Tinnitus (33% chance it’ll go, 33% it’ll get better, 33% chance it’ll get worse), Balance and dizziness (2-3 months a bit dodgy but will improve), the list went on but I have always been a glass half full kind of chap so ‘I knew I had nothing to worry about!’….right?

Wrong....all I can say is I have never ever experienced anything like it in my whole life and was totaly unprepared for the post surgery consequences.

Following the surgery I lost most of my senses and felt awful. All I was told was that they think they got all the tumour out, I was drugged to the eyeballs, lost several days and wasn't really aware if I my face and hearing worked and if I had tinnitus. However as the days went on it soon became apparent that my positivity was misguided and unfortunately my facial nerve was damaged, my inner ear destroyed and that damn ringing was there….just louder…much much louder!

As a result of only having one operational inner ear, it has to over compensate for the other not working. It was like constantly being drunk, not just tipsy but hammered and I couldn’t stand without a stick for about 2-3 months and I needed one for walking for many months afterwards.

It goes without saying that I was off work for a while, almost a year, and during that time I was praying that the tinnitus would subside, the face would start working again and the dizziness would slowly get easier. None really improved and I needed a final operation to put a gold weight in my right eyelid to help it close.

Work was tough, but I slowly got back to full time employment through a phased approach as things got a little easier over time.

If you have stuck with me this far, thanks!

Before the operation I was a keen mountain biker however due to my balance now being so bad, even though I was probably 13-14 months after the Op, I knew I was nowhere near ready to get on a mountain bike and heading off road down any big hills.

It was at this time that my employer started a cycle-to-work scheme. This kick started me into looking at road bikes to try and ease into a less technical type of cycling.

I purchased a bike and headed out for its maiden outing. Being honest with myself, it was a pretty bloody stupid idea. My first ride consisted of a 5 miles road ride. I was ok travelling in a straight line but as soon as I turned my head to look over my shoulder I was almost off due to my bad balance. Plus adding the sensation of hedges and things rushing by meant I felt so sick (inner ear issues again).

That 5 mile ride was the last ride for some time, the bike went back in the shed for months and I not only assumed I would never ride a Mountain Bike again but that I had wasted money on another bike.

After many months I decided to give it another go in the slightly safer environment of my kitchen! I bought some cycling rollers as someone at work had recommended them as they knew the issues I was having with my balance.

Weeks passed and I couldn’t quite muster up the courage to let go of the kitchen cupboard but then things started to fall into place. I started with a few miles, then 5, up to 10 and final 20 miles on the rollers.

It was time, the road beckoned for another try. I did the same route as my first trip…just 5 miles but it was a start. I still had the same issue of not being able to look over my shoulder as it completely threw my balance off kilter and I ended up swerving severely…hmm, that’s not good. What with that and the added complication of only one working ear meant I had no idea from which direction vehicles were coming from. After a quick Google search I found a number of discreet cycle mirrors. I purchased one and it transformed my riding giving me so much more confidence and meant I was much safer on the road.

Things were starting to fall into place. I was getting out on the road bike at weekends for an hour here and there and fitness was improving.

I still wasn’t up to cycling to work even if it is 6 miles each way. This was because since the operation, mornings have been terrible as I feel sick and really dizzy every morning (something to do with the inner ear again).

It was all going so well, but the then disaster. Adding to feeling like cr@p, slight mental instability due to my facial appearance and anxiety as a result of the constant droning of tinnitus…the final nail in the coffin was the work pressures increase with the working days becoming longer. I stuck with it for 3-4 months but in the end had to admit defeat. Taking my boss to one side I said I couldn’t do it anymore, I needed out. I was ready to walk away but the Company were fantastic, they found me another job in the organisation that was more predictable which has helped keep my symptoms more under control.

Nevertheless, for now the bike was back in the shed for several months until I got my head sorted again.

I am not sure what the kick-start was but one morning I just decide to cycle in. It was hell! I felt awful all day. But I vowed to cycle one day a week the following week. So it continued and I gradually built up the days until I was cycling in every day.

Mornings have never got easier and the first few minutes on the bike I always have the underlying sick feeling but within a mile it has reduced and I cycle rain or shine. On the odd occasion when I have to drive if I need to be somewhere after work I can feel the difference. I am more lethargic, grumpier (if that is really possible) and less productive…if that’s not a shining endorsement for cycling to work I don’t know what is!

I have now been cycling to work almost every day for 3 ½ years and clocked up 1000's of miles on the bike. I am not sure what this says about me, but the cycle is the highlight of the day. It makes me feel more alive and able to think more clearly. It is also the only thing that helps mask my tinnitus with the wind noise in my good ear. It is 25mins of relaxation each way, each day, it is my only mechanism of escape from my torment!

Deep down I know that with my postoperative ailments I will have many more relapses and down days as my mind isn’t always that strong. When this happens the longer weekend rides will slip a little but I know that the pull of cycling will help me through.

I plan to continue to challenge myself and set goals and achievements to help me try and get back to the person I use to be. Riding the 100 mile London sportive is just one of these goals and if I can help raise awareness and money along the way in support of the Brisith Tinnitus Association then there will be more than one winner!!

If you made it all the way to the end of this, thanks for staying with me and listening to my waffling. If this helps just one person or stirs up similar emotions in others then it may have been worth it.

Tim