You all know me as Tubbsy, a name assigned to me at school | Now I'm looking to you for a contribution, no matter how small | I've known you all in some shape or form, some more than I'd like | But there comes a time in one's life, when you're told "on yer bike" | At least when I asked for a payrise, that's what I was told | I guess the wife will have to wait to get her hands on more gold.

 

So I took it quite literally, with a spoonful of honey | There are some seriously worthy causes, in desparate need of some money | Probably not the best place to start, I haven't cycled since my teens | A time when I was slimmer and looked cool in stonewashed jeans? | So now I'll be testing the limitations of lycra, and possibly dignity and pride | All in the aid of 'charity mate', by taking part in this jolly bike ride.

 

Please dust off your wallets, delve deep into your soul | Help me raise funds and awareness, as our hearts are the goal | I promise I won't wear a mankini, or dress as a gorilla | It's just me and my bike to help fight the UK's biggest killer | And I'm asking you my friends to share this page with the nation | So that we can all benefit from the work done by the British Heart Foundation.