Blackmailed by my otherwise charming children, I shall be taking part in the Lions Club Dorchester Fun Run on 13th April, where, depending on levels of fitness and proximity to hedges, I will run / jog / amble / crawl around the county town of Dorset for anything up to five miles. 

In return for your money - and apart from the inner warmth you will receive from helping an excellent cause - you will receive, absolutely free and without charge, a blog post on my mystifyingly popular website at http://scaryduck.blogspot.com that will contain the words "I wish I was dead", "My legs are no longer working" and, almost certainly, "sick inna hedge".

Whatever happens, I will complete the run and give a big, fat pile of cash to those fantastic Cancer Research UK people.

How could you possibly lose?

Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: Cancer Research UK will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.

In the words of poor, dead Spike Milligan: "Thank you for your support. I shall wear it always."