My sister has asked me to help her with her fundraising page.

Mandi and my brother in law Nigel started running not long after my husband Matthew’s death. I guess it was a release. A place where they could think and attempt to comprehend what had happened. Mandi decided that one day she would like to take part in the Great North Run and set her heart on running in the honour of Matthew. Many miles of training, many blisters and new pairs of trainers later, this year on the 20^th of September they will be there!

 

http://www.greatrun.org/Events/Event.aspx?id=1

 

Well…here goes! This is my bit. I’m not very good at running! Oh where do I start?

I know Mandi really wanted me to dedicate this page to Matthew. Do I start right at the beginning when we first met just 16 years of age and inseparable by the age of 17? Or do I start with the last day I saw my best buddy alive?

We had a lovely dinner, set our baby boy down to sleep and then snuggled up to watch the latest episode of Lost on TV. At 9:00pm he left on his motorbike to meet up with his pals in before heading off on his adventure to to watch the World Superbike event. However, through no fault of his own he never met up with his pals that night…

On the 6^th of October 2006 everyone who had ever met him had to come to terms with a life without him.

Just an ordinary person driving home took my husbands life…

 

http://www.reducingroadcasualties.com/top1/Home.asp?top=1&sid=1&tid=1&mid=186

 

Every time I am out driving with my three year old son in the car I encounter people driving along in their own world. They have to get somewhere apparently fast for whatever reason and have no time to indicate or think about anyone else. Could they ever imagine how it would affect them if they took a persons life? Let alone imagine just how many people are affected by the sudden loss of a loved one.

At 2:00am in the morning I was woken by a knock at the door. It is as if the policemen and their car on the road have been etched onto the glass of my window. Even now I can sometimes see them standing there. I will never forget their care and support from that first encounter to the day in court some eight months later when the driver was finally charged with Causing Death by Dangerous Driving.

Although I was surrounded by amazing people, family and wonderful friends, there were times when I felt I needed to give them the space they needed to grieve and then I discovered The WAY Foundation. The support of others who knew exactly how I was feeling was just what I needed at that time. Founded in 1997 WAY offers a self-help network for members across the . Enabling us to share our unique understanding of being widowed young.

 

http://www.wayfoundation.org.uk

 

WAY needs your help supporting widowed people. With your help we can raise their profile and do more for thousands of people every year. WAY receives no government funding and is entirely volunteer-led.

Even though it is run by volunteers, they need funds to run their website, print promotional materials and publicise the work they do. It also costs money to train volunteers who respond to newly-bereaved members. PLEASE sponsor now! Every penny we can raise for WAY will be greatly appreciated and we look forward to updating you on our progress.

Thank you so much for reading this page today. If there is anyone out there that you think may benefit from being a member of WAY please pass on all the details. Or if anyone would rather get in touch with me you can email me at: maxandjo@hotmail.co.uk

I write this page as a tribute and big thank you to my sister! Through the highs and the lows, the lows and the highs and the really horrid twisty roundy bits, Mandi has been there supporting me in any way she can. I know that there have been times when she has felt there is nothing she can do. And despite her own feelings of despair she has been there for us putting on a brave and often silly face. I am sorry for all the times I have frowned and growled at her for being naughty and teaching my son bad habits and the word snot!

People, not stuff, become so important when you go through such a shocking experience. And eventually when the pain moves on to a slightly different kind of ache, you feel so proud to have ever known the person that you have lost. That you realise they are not lost at all. And can feel them very close by and feel safe in the knowledge that they are indeed watching over you and love you as much as they ever did. If we never experience the pain and sadness of loss then how can we truly appreciate the pure joy that is love and life?

Joanna T

Good luck Mandi and Nigel!! And thank you so much for running to raise money for the WAY Foundation. We are all so proud of you. Matthew will be with you and indeed all of us in WAY and those who have sponsored you will be cheering you on! x