CHILDREN’S HOSPICE AT HOME APPEAL

Angela Mullholland is a community nurse with Northern Ireland Children's Hospice - in her role she regularly cares for children and families that are dealing with truly heartbreaking situations, they are all unique and they can also at times be extremely challenging.

Angela recently had a conversation with Joan* whose son is cared for by Children's Hospice. Their story helps to illustrate how much of difference Children's Hospice makes to the lives of families across Northern Ireland - this is only possible because of the support we receive from the local community through donations and gifts in Wills.

Joan has two boys; her eldest is James who is a typical, healthy seven year old. Her other son David is three. Since birth David has had severe complications with his health and his Mum and Dad have been told, by his doctors, that he is unlikely to live beyond childhood.

As you can imagine getting that news was devastating for his Mum, Dad and wider family. Over the last three years his parents have experienced many feelings – grief, isolation, frustration and more recently guilt.

Joan told Angela that she feels a huge amount of guilt that she doesn’t get to spend enough time with James as she tries to meet David’s round the clock care needs. She worries that James is missing out on so many things and that he isn’t able to have a normal relationship with his little brother. 

Joan broke down while telling Angela about having to miss his first school play as David had been rushed to hospital. Unfortunately, this is not unusual and indeed David spent much of his first year in hospital which meant James was often looked after by various family members. Being so young he simply couldn’t understand why his baby brother wasn’t able to come home and why his Mum and Dad weren’t able to read him his bedtime story.

Children’s Hospice puts a huge emphasis on caring for the whole family unit. This means that as well as caring for David, we are also there for James and his Mum & Dad. The impact on the brothers and sisters of a sick child is such that many of the family activities that we take for granted have to be planned in advance and are often cancelled at short notice. Children’s Hospice at Home helps the family to have quality time as a family.

As well as offering respite, our teams are also trained to help children come to terms with what it means to have a life limited brother or sister, both now and in the future. Ever since his little brother was born, James has faced massive upheavals in his life. His mum worries greatly about the stress this puts on him but is also very proud of how he deals with it.

‘My heart fills with pride when I think of what James does for David. He’s just seven but probably knows more than most adults will ever know about caring for a sick child. He knows how to check David’s oxygen machine is working properly and he knows when to tell me that there’s a problem with his feeding tube.’

James really is an inspiration in how he deals with the issues his family face. However, like any child, James needs time with his Mum & Dad, even more so as the school holidays approach. A donation of £30 would allow our nurses to care for David for an hour, meaning his Mum, Dad and James can get some much needed time together over the summer months.

 

 *Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the family involved.