Oh god.

In two weeks' time I’m running the Great North Run with my Geordie girlfriend Katie and her equally Geordie sister Claire. That’s 13.1 miles of pure pain.

Both Katie and Claire have done it before – three times in fact, and fast. But until signing up for this I’d never even run for a bus.

Those of you who know me well may have noticed I’m someone who spent the first 30 years of my life eating just choccy ice cream.

I’m not trying to be funny, that’s the truth. I even found reaching for the remote exhausting.

Therefore, you can only imagine how very, very nervous I’m feeling about this – never, ever did I think I’d even try running 13 painful miles.

For me, with my flappy flat feet, doing the Great North Run is going to be like going to hell and back (Note to Katie: I am in no way referring to Newcastle…).

While Katie and Claire stride off, I’m going to be desperately struggling to keep up with the pair of them and it’s going to be an utter nightmare.

So please help us out a bit by raising enough cash to force my big fat a*se round that daunting half marathon course.

Katie will do it no problem and so will Claire. But at some point (probably at every step between 1 and 13 miles) I’m going to seriously want to give up.

Hopefully though, thinking about all the people who chipped in to support us will spur me on by making me feel guilty enough to continue.

That will definitely help a lot. Although it won’t seem like it at the time and I’ll probably be cursing you.

I know you probably get loads of requests like this – everyone does - but honestly this one is different. All the others you’ve had were from fit people.

I’ve never asked anyone to sponsor me before and now I’m trying to do the Great North Run. HELP!

Between us, Katie, Claire and I have got to raise £700 for the Alzheimer’s Society.

My gran is dealing with Alzheimer’s at the moment and I can tell you any money you give will go to a great cause.

P.S. Katie promised if we raise enough she'll "do a Paula" by the roadside... You KNOW what I mean...