Hey guys! Thank you for taking the time out to even click on my page.

I’m going to be really honest with you guys starting from the beggining...

When I was 18 years old, I was really struggling with who I was as a person and my identity. I studied in interactive media and then dropped out and took on events management. At that point in my life, I was a selfish 18 years old trying to live my best life. My mum raised me as a single mother, alongside with my brother. All throughout my childhood, my mum has never asked for help nor, did she want people to see her struggling. We struggled a lot.. My mum would give me the world. If I asked for a new barbie, no matter how much she was struggling she would come up with the funds to buy me a barbie with a new ken. When I was 16 I became completely independant. I stopped asking my mum for money and I went out and got myself a job. I started bringing home income and giving my mum rent every month as well as stopping by at tescos picking up the milk, eggs and the neccecities. At 18, I started an apprenticeship in Business Management because I dropped out of college. I was working £3.50 an hour yet I was still paying board at home. I had my own phone bill to pay for, my own laptop, rent, extra things for the house. It started to become too much, I had more money going out of my bank account then I had going in.

This is where it gets dangerous..

I started taking out pay day loans. Sunny, 118 Money, Satsuma Loans, Lending Stream ect. Because, I thought I could handle the interest of paying them back and I could handle the payments every single month. Please bare in mind this was 4 years ago - I am now 22. I couldnt. I couldnt handle the pressure of paying them ontime, I couldn’t handle them even being outstanding. I eventually gave up, stopped all my direct debits. Letters, phone calls and emails came next. Some eventually went to debt recovery agencies, some are still outstanding to this day.

People ask me: “Why couldnt you speak up if you are feeling so low? Why couldnt you just ask for money?“ “Why put yourself in this situation?”

The answer to that is that I was young and dumb. I am now 22 years old female who is up to her eyeball in debt. 2015 I went to uni, I dropped out because of this. I worked fulltime to pay it all off. Its now 2019 and I still haven’t. I am now a fulltime student who studies for my degree in Psychotherapy in Nottingham (this is what I was studying before I dropped out). But originally from London. I commute every fridays to work part time in London over the weekends and then travel back up on Sunday evening for university. The reason to why I went to uni again was because regardless of anything, I believe I have a good heart and I’ve always wanted to help people. This is a career path I’ve always wanted to do and I know damn well I’d be good at it because its in my nature.

My mum last year was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had to have a masectomy done. We’ve been through hell. I’ve had to support her and take care of her and the house. Looking after my mother as well as balancing work and university was a real struggle for me but I got through it because I had to hold it down for my mother. - Someone who has never let me down in my whole existence. Someone who has loved me unconditionally. Someone who has been there for me through good and bad and most importantly someone who has supported me and made me chose my own path in life without any of her influence.

I‘ve been in debt since I was 18 years old. I am soon to be turning 23. My remaining debt is £2000. I am kindly asking for any donations that would go towards my cause. I never ask for money- i guess its a pride thing. But for the mental state im in right now, it’s worth asking. They say if you dont ask you dont get right? It hard trying to find your feet and where you belong because the world is so big. But with this holding over my head every morning and every night, it’s really hard. I just want to be debt free so I can finally understand and find myself again. Mental health is so important. Yet it is still a taboo subject and so highly stigmatised. Please take care of yourself. You are not alone. So now i am asking for help, to get back to the person I use to know and use to be so I can give back to all of you.

Thank you for reading.