Those very close to me will know I have suffered since the age of 14yrs from a very life restricting mental health illness, I haven’t been able to travel further than 5miles from my home since I was 15yrs, and over the years my ‘safety circle’ has gotten smaller, some days I struggle to leave my house. The doctors diagnosed me at 15 with agoraphobia, panic attacks and depression then aged 24 with PTSD. Even though leaving the house or being at the local shop can send me into an awful state of panic it even happens at home where I should feel safe and will happen whenever it chooses even when I’m relaxing in bed about to sleep. My illness restricts my life drastically with day to day life, and I’m unable to ever get a break and take a holiday as I can’t get 2miles down the road, I can’t visitor my elderly grandparents or other family and friends which effects me being able to socialise and miss out on family events, I cannot watch tv if there are certain things on that will trigger my panic attacks, I can’t talk about places or travel with anyone, even the weather can trigger an attack, some days eating and taking a shower can be difficult and only possible by taking Valium (a sedative) I have a great passion for horses and would love to be able to attend shows and meet new people.

My illness leaves me constantly tired and fed up as I’m never able to relax and constantly on edge.

I have a 11yr old son and 7month old daughter (who I gave birth to at home as I wouldn’t go to the hospital) the thoughts I battle with everyday that are in my head are throughout the day are absolutely terrifying to me that after periods of time leave me feeling powerless and like I’ve had enough and have no options.

While I try to be upbeat on the outside each day is a living hell for me. I have tried everything the NHS has been able to offer me over the years and even tried acupuncture to try and help. Private hypnotherapy which is not offered through the NHS has been the only thing that helps me but I am unable to afford the sessions as much as I need. I have already missed out on so much in the last 16years and so has my son too.

Now for my sake and my family’s I am desperate to get better I have been offered an intense programme consisting of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and neuro-linguistical programming along with ongoing mentoring. The treatment is a 3month time frame and costs £1500 so I am asking for any donations to help me, I have been restricted and controlled by this illness for far too long and I want to start enjoying my life with my children and be able to share memories with them. Thankyou for taking the time to read. Cat x