On 30 September 2012 just after 6pm, as Europe’s Ryder cup team were pulling off the biggest comeback in the event’s history, my wife and I were in a daze in a hospital in South East London as our son was born, 12 weeks earlier than planned. Weighing just over 2 lbs, Dexter showed early promise in what we expected was to be a long 3 months of incubators and monitors before he could come home with us.

 

Just 34 hours later, we were summoned to the Neo-Natal unit and told that he had suffered a pulmonary hemorrhage and the chances of survival were slim. Dexter passed away peacefully in our arms 2 hours after this, before we had even heard him cry once.

 

There are no words that prepare you for the death of your child, and for some time it seemed to my wife and I like our world had ended while everyone else’s carried on around us.

 

SANDS (http://www.uk-sands.org) charity help those who have been affected by the death of a baby shortly before, during or soon after birth and over the past 12+ months they have been an invaluable source of support to my wife and I.

 

In 2009 I ran my first and only marathon in London, for a small charity that helped kids with learning disabilities. My friend and co-runner and I raised approx £8,000. Afterwards I said I’d probably never run that distance again and I meant it. That was until I watched a friend run a half marathon for SANDS (in honour of Dexter) and it inspired me to apply for London once again. I said I’d only run it, if I could do it for SANDS and when I was chosen for one of their golden bond places in the 2014 marathon I was delighted.

 

Since the last marathon in 2009, I have undergone reconstructive knee surgery and I also won’t have my previous training partner, Neil, alongside me for this attempt so I fully expect it to be a much harder effort than the 1 time. Even more so because this time I know the pain that awaits me! Although part of me thinks I’ll welcome the physical agony as it’s a much easier form of pain to deal with than the mental/emotional anguish of the past year.

 

My aim is to get as close to 4 hours as I can for my finishing time. This is only 1 ninth of the time Dexter spent battling bravely, so put in that perspective there’s no reason for me not to get through it. If the knee doesn’t hold up and I have to limp round on crutches in 10 hours then so be it. The only thing that matters is that I raise as much as I can for SANDS, so that they can continue their amazing work for other parents unfortunate enough to be in a similar situation to Ann Marie and I.

Follow my training blog for more info on my marathon attempt. 

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