Post-marathon update:

Many thanks to everyone who has already sponsored me, and to anyone who might still wish to do so (it's not too late).  Thanks also to all those who told me that they had tested their cholesterol as a result of reading my message below.  Nothing can make me feel better about the loss of Peter, but responding constructively makes me feel better about myself, and I am grateful for all the support I have had in this area.

Cheered on by wonderful friends, I completed the marathon today in 4 hours, 52 minutes and 19 seconds, averaging 11.08 minute miles.  That means I came in 6255 among the women who made up the 34,000 plus in total who crossed the finishing line.  (If I had halved my time, I might even have won....)     There were a few challenging moments, but nothing bad, and praying at the Western Wall last week clearly protected me from the marathon 'wall' (the time when your body refuses to co-operate).  Jacob and Jonah told me that, but for the medal, it would have been impossible to tell whether I had just run a marathon or was about to run one, which reflects my feelings, but more than that confirms that they are perfect sons. 

 Pre-marathon message:

My husband, Peter Lipton (1954-2007), was a supremely intelligent, wise and rational man, whose judgement in almost all matters was flawless.   During the 23 years of our marriage he made, to my knowledge, only one very serious error of judgement.  I wish I did not need to recall it now, when there are so many, many wonderful things to remember, but I feel obliged to do so. 

In the late 1980s, when we were living in the US, Peter was diagnosed with high cholesterol.  He tried to lower it through diet and exercise, but since our diet was already vegetarian, with a relatively low dairy content, and since Peter already played squash several times a week, he was not successful.  He began to take medication, which had no immediate side-effects and lowered his cholesterol to an acceptable level. 

In 1991, we moved to the UK, where cholesterol is not routinely tested by GPs. Peter decided to stop taking the drugs he had been prescribed in the US.  I tried to convince him that this was a mistake, and that since he had two young children, it was not entirely his choice to make, but he insisted that he did not want to spend his life on medication, regardless of whether or not it had side-effects.  After a few weeks, we stopped discussing it -- a secret (for better and worse) of our very happy marriage.  On Sunday 25th November, when he was just 53 (and I was 2 days short of 48), Peter fainted while playing squash.  A week earlier, when I was at a conference in California, he had felt dizzy half way through a squash game and had to stop, but he did not tell me about it; I might have advised him to see a doctor.  This time, they called me from the court to ask me to collect Peter, so that he wouldn't have to cycle home.  When I arrived, he was walking around, but looked pale and sweaty.  I asked him if he was well enough to get into the car.   Yes, he said, I feel fine now.  And then he collapsed.  The paramedics were at Peter's side in minutes, and spent half an hour trying to save his life, while I, and Niall, Peter's squash partner and our close friend, looked on.  At first I prayed that they would succeed, but after a while I stopped.  Peter, a brilliant philosopher and relentlessly analytic thinker, would not have coped well with brain damage.   I thought mostly about how I would tell our sons, Jacob (21) and Jonah (19), and Peter's mother, Lini.   

The cause of death was a heart attack caused by a blockage caused by high cholesterol.  Many people have asked me if I, or our sons, Jacob and Jonah, feel angry.  I have felt many intense emotions since Peter died, and I know that they have too, but above all, I feel excruciating sadness and frustration.  When our friend Camilla Ray e-mailed me two weeks after Peter died, and asked me if I wanted to join her on the starting line of the London Marathon (we won't be together on the finishing line -- Camilla is a professional footballer!), I decided that this might offer a constructive focus for some of these complex feelings, and that I would join her if I could find the right charity.   It took me seconds to find H*E*A*R*T* UK among those listed.  

Before Peter died, I used to run six days a week.  Afterwards, I felt as though I had been in a major accident -- getting through the day was challenging enough, and I couldn't bring myself to do something as life-affirming (for me) as running.   Since late January, though, I have been running again with my endlessly distracting running partner Simon Goldhill (we usually talk Talmud), and working in the gym with my totally focused trainer, Angeline, and yesterday (24th February) I ran 13 miles.   Today is the three month anniversary of Peter's death.   Please sponsor me for my first marathon, in Peter's memory -- an extraordinary blessing to me, to Jacob and Jonah, and to the literally thousands of others who have written to me since he died.    

In case you haven't seen them, here are links to the Guardian obituary of Peter written by our friend Melissa Lane

http://www.guardian.co.uk/obituaries/story/0,,2226394,00.html

and to the eulogies given at Peter's funeral by Jacob and Jonah   

    http://hassan.org.uk/Beth_Shalom/Jonah_Eulogy.htm
    http://hassan.org.uk/Beth_Shalom/Jacob_Eulogy.htm

Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: HEART UK will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.

Thank you!

Diana Lipton