Keep the Light Shining for Mental Health

Steven Smithurst is raising money for Mental Health Foundation
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Keep the Light Shining for Mental Health · 25 June 2014

The Mental Health Foundation believe no-one living in the UK should be deprived of the opportunity for good mental health because ​of who they are, the community they come from or where they live​. We’re developing better ways to support good mental health in every community.

Story

 

I am a lecturer at City College Norwich and here is my story........

Four years ago our lives changed after my 17yr old daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychosis. She had been in A&E numerous times trying to get help but was turned away due to having consumed alcohol. She had asked for help from her GP, who said she had mild depression and put her on an 8 week waiting list to see a psychiatrist, she went to the walk in centre, and called the mental health crisis line but was ignored by everyone in the NHS. The final straw came when she attempted to throw herself off a balcony and if it wasn't for swift actions by her friends she probably wouldn't be here today. It should never have come to this point. This was a very traumatic period for us as parents but eventually we managed to get her the help she needed.

Keely also works at City College Norwich as part of the curriculum services support team and below is Keely's story in her own words.

With all the impending cuts to the Mental Health service and after all the great help we finally had for our daughter I decided to raise money for the mental health foundation. A very big thank you to the people concerned (especially one very special lady) and also in order that maybe more young lives and family heartache can be saved.

I and my Motor vehicle students will be walking from City College Norwich to the Norfolk Showground (7 miles) and then cycling on rollers at the Royal Norfolk show for 2 days (6 hours each day) before walking back to City College Norwich. Throughout this journey we will carry a lantern and keep it lit for the duration of the event hence:

Keep the light shining for Mental Health

KEELY'S JOURNEY (In her own words)

"It all started with what seemed like teenage mood swings.. One minute I was excited and wanted to go shopping, the next I didn't want to go anywhere and felt there was no point to anything. Gradually this got worse, and soon the excitement turned into something scary and out of my control. I was making irrational decisions, spending lots of money and physically doing more than I could manage. The ups were much much worse than the downs, scary beyond belief. When I wasn't feeling invincible I felt like I could slip away from the world without a care in the world. I never specifically wanted to die or hurt myself, I just thought that if I was dead nothing would matter, and everything could go away so easily. I started hallucinating. First it was a background noise, like when somebody leaves a radio on out of tune in the next room. Then it was voices, then visual hallucinations, then commands.

On Saturday 13th March 2010.. I was admitted to a local Psychiatric Hospital in Norfolk (Hellesdon) - weighing 6st 12lbs, completely unaware of what year it was, or if anything I could see was even there at all. I was more frightened than I ever imagined was possible. I couldn't eat, or sleep, or think at all. I didn't have an eating disorder, I just didn't understand the need to eat or feel hungry. I could hear screaming, voices, scratching. I thought I was dying. I was convinced that if I wasn't dying, then I would be soon. I genuinely thought it was the end of my life. Two days later, on Monday 15th March 2010.. I was told that I would be moving to The Priory Psychiatric Hospital in London that day, over 100 miles away from home. I arrived there at around midnight, all I could see was lights, and a massive building surrounded by nothing. They searched me and all my things thoroughly, then told me I had to take a small blue tablet. They asked so many questions that I didn't know the answer to. All that was going through my head was that I would die here. I had come here to die. Then I was asleep, heavily sedated. The morning came, I was taken to a white room. They took blood tests, mouth and nasal swabs, urine sample, everything - even a hair sample. I met a lady, she told me she would be with me until the end. She had a friendly smile, and a nice watch. She was one of the best Psychiatrists in the UK. She trained in New York and worked on Harley Street in London. The first thing she said to me was "I might be able to help you, I might not. I haven't got an answer for everything, and I won't pretend I can work miracles. But I do actually care, and I will do my best".. Little did I know - This woman would change everything. I was being watched, I was on 5 minute observations. I couldn't have a shower on my own, I couldn't lock my door, I couldn't go outside, I couldn't do anything. I was taken to have an EEG, I had what felt like a thousand wires glued to my head - laying in a room with a video camera on me, being told when I could blink. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder with severe psychosis, Schizo-affective Disorder. I was given a prescription list, and told that the medication I would be given each morning and evening, was extremely important. I started an intense therapy programme. I can't explain in words what happened to me during my time in The Priory. Much of it I don't even remember. I saw so many psychologists, therapists, doctors and nurses. I had blood tests every day for the first 5 weeks. And every other day after that. I wasn't able to go out of the hospital without having a panic attack. I had to be integrated back into the world over a period of time. When you see on TV or films - people with mental illness being restrained and injected with a sedative. You may think its an exaggeration. I can assure you - It is not. It happens. And it is a traumatising experience. But there is so much more to it than this. I can remember desperately wishing I was dead. Wishing I was never born. Wondering what exactly I had done to deserve this. Where it all went wrong. Whether it was ever right in the first place. But soon 5 minute observations changed to 10 minutes, and eventually 30 minutes. I began to feel safe and more aware of what was going on around me. I could remember more, and I was able to make responsible decisions. I was putting on weight. My moods became more stable, and I felt in control of my actions. 3 difficult months later, on June 1st I was discharged. I was still taking a lot of medication.. But I was well. I had learnt to control my lifelong illness to the best of my ability. It wasn't until then that I realised the lady I met on Tuesday 16th March 2010.. Had not changed my life. She had given me a life. I try not to think about what would have happened if I hadn't met her. I can't thank her enough, ever. All the money in the world wouldn't even come close to how much she is worth. Those 3 months were the most dreadful, horrific, painful.. Amazing.. Months of my life. I am alive.

4 years on and I'm still struggling to cope with the illness at times, particularly the stereotyping.. but I am happy. I'm healthy....... But most importantly. I have wonderful people around me. I'm engaged to the most amazing man I've ever met, my one true love and my best friend. This year, we welcomed a beautiful little princess into the world, our perfect daughter. I came off my medication to reduce risks to the baby while I was pregnant, and I haven't felt the need to return to it as of yet. We are surrounded by amazing family, and some close friends. I have an extremely rewarding job supporting individuals with a range of difficulties to ensure they get the opportunities they deserve. Everybody has a right to an education, and the Curriculum services team are there to ensure everybody can have their needs met no matter what it takes. I am honoured to be a part of this team, making a difference to young people's lives as others have done for me.

There are 3 very important reasons that I wanted to share this. Firstly, there is hope in the darkness. If you see a glimmer of light - reach out and grab it with 2 hands, don't let go of it until it turns into a light as big as the sun to shine for the rest of your life. Secondly, to thank ALL the people who have been there for me throughout my life, throughout this difficult time in my life, and who are there for me now. All my family and friends, Everyone who works in psychiatric units that help people like me every day, My community psychiatric unit and anybody who has ever hurt me - for making me the person I am today. And finally, to show people that mental illness is real. Sometimes it is a chemical imbalance, sometimes it is a brain disorder, sometimes it is a result of trauma, or a part of grief. But if it is called a mental illness then it is an illness. Just because you can't see it and there are ways of keeping it under control, doesn't make it any less important than anything else. Giving someone with asthma an inhaler doesn't mean they don't have asthma anymore. It just means that the illness isn't going to kill you. People think that people with mental illness are 'mad' and should be locked up.. But it's not always the case. I still have Schizo-affective disorder, and should be taking anti psychotics for the rest of my life.. But if you met me for the first time today - You would never know.

"Do not judge a book by its cover, or a person by their diagnosis."

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