Update: I won in 3 hours 46 minutes and 42 seconds. Official: http://results-2010.virginlondonmarathon.com/2010/index.php?content=detail&id=9999990F5ECC830000063553&lang=EN&event=MAS, Garmin: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/31326428
We've established that you're an idiot. We established that when (a) you chose to keep in touch with me (b) you clicked this link.
Now we've got that out the way, use this to donate money to charity and chuck your name on there in the hope that a stranger (through which I am a mutual acquaintance) will be all like "Who is this Flavaadit Gambatron who has donated £50 and left the comment "I'll pick you up in my PORSCHE afterwards"?". People will be all over that and thinking that you are the balls. Not balls, but THE balls. You will probably get laid or at least people will think more of you, though that's not difficult.
I will be running in a Welsh rugby jersey as last time I was as identifiable as John Malkovich in that film, you know, the one where there are loads of him. Police Academy I think.
Also, come along on the day and support me. Here are some ways in which you can do that.
1) Dress as a giant finish line and place yourself 2 miles from the end. I will get confused, run through you, collapse and then realise that I've got to get up again and run more. Arrange thirteen clowns to laugh at me whilst I am on the floor, preferably whilst squirting their flowers in my face.
2) Hire a burger van and have it ride right next to me for the whole race whilst saying things like "Mmm, a burger'd taste lovely right now, wouldn't it Steve?" occasionally pelting me with onions and squirting me with brown sauce.
3) Get a plane to sky-write "You run like a broken robot, give up now".
