1^st September

Bristol Temple Meads – 11:30am

It’s the start of the journey to John O’Groats that will eventually see 7 finely tuned athletes battle against nature, personal demons, and un-straightened hair in a bid to kick this years Le Jog off in triumphant style…..or will it???

Meet at Temple Meads at 11:30 – it was a simple request that 3 out of the 4 given that instruction managed to keep to.  First on the scene was Bruce, looking forward to his 3rd and final Le Jog before he heads off to pastures new.  Adam (Team Captain) & Rob followed soon after, but there was no sign of Gavin.  As he was a relatively new addition to the team following injury to Ian Williams, fears grew that the Welsh boy had bottled it. These fears were followed by further (and more worrying) fears that everyone would now have to run further.  One hour and many phone calls later, the thought of 7 becoming 6 was fast becoming reality until, as if nothing was wrong, Gavin strolled into Bristol Airport sporting a big grin that would be seen many more times before the weekend was over.  Gav had apparently decided to make his own way to the airport rather than meet up as organized – still, the other 3 got to have the last laugh as, following a random security check, Gav had to admit to carrying his hair straighteners in his luggage.

The Bristol 4 became the Le Jog 7 as the remaining members of the team (Itay, James, and Matt) all met up at Inverness and piled into 2 people carriers.  With Ian Henry, Ivan, and Ivan’s care worker joining up with us as well, ready for the tandem ride, the convoy rolled out of Inverness and headed North.

As the convoy rolled through Golspie (The finishing line for stage 1), grabbing some food became top priority so a five minute stop was planned to grab some fish & chips.  Friday night in Golspie must be fish supper night as the queue was already out of the door before another 10 strangers were added to it.  With the worlds slowest moving queue it gave everyone the chance to read a menu sporting such delights as battered black pudding, deep fried pizza, and something called furry gammon.  Not one person was brave enough to ask the woman serving if they could sample her furry gammon, so that one remains a mystery.  Anyway, one hour later the convoy moved off again now slightly behind schedule.

The sign post for John O’Groats was met with a football ground cheer, but very quickly followed by a “Where the f%ck is the B&B?”.  Turn left and follow the road for half a mile were the directions supplied but that just led to a very dark road with no sign of a B&B.  One phone call later and it was discovered that the half mile bit was pure fiction as the B&B was found directly on the junction we had turned left at.

After having the room keys dished out, the owner then dealt the hammer blow that was the news that there would be no cooked breakfast in the morning as we were getting up too early for her.  With the task of deciding who would run which leg still lying ahead, the plan of ‘lets just go and get a beer’ was drawn up.  While bags were being dumped in rooms, Gav somehow secured a full cooked breakfast everyone.  It may have just been the welsh accent that brought out some celtic alliance.  Maybe he had to show off his welsh rarebit, or even agree to let her use his beauty products.  Whatever he did the team now had more than just cornflakes to look forward to in the morning. 

With breakfast now sorted, the real business of preparing for the next days run lay ahead.  A few beers and a selection of malt whiskeys seemed to be the best plan (although these were enjoyed at the hotel across the road as the B&B had no bar – not even Gav could sort that one!).  The early legs were dished out first with Bruce taking the opening leg this time after finishing for the team last time out.  Itay took leg two as he was after some extra distance, James took leg three and then things got interesting.  Legs 4 & 5 were the worst in terms of hill climbs, with leg 5 also being one of the longest.  In true captain’s style, Adam took the beast that was leg 5 and due to some perception of fitness Rob got leg 4.  Matt took leg 6, while the responsibility of bringing the team home fell to Gavin.

With the legs decided, Adam gave out the team shirts complete with nick name.  The team theme was the Ant-Hill Mob and they were dished out as follows:  Adam - Clyde (Leader of the Anthill Mob), Rob – Yak Yak , Bruce – Pockets , James – Softy , Matt - Dum Dum, and Gavin got Snoozy (although he was a late addition to the team, this name would prove to be one of the best matched).  This left Itay to take either Zippy or Penelope.  Now Zippy had been set aside for Benny who had been such a star last year.  Also, for some reason, the Penelope shirt had come through in XL size so, casting no aspersions on his masculinity, Itay became Penelope and everyone headed for bed.

2^nd September

John O’Groats – 6:30am

Gavs claims of securing breakfast are spot on as a full cooked breakfast is on the menu.  Itay manages to insult the B&B owner by adding sugar to his porridge, something which apparently is punishable by death in .  Everyone eats up and grabs their stuff ready for what lies ahead………..

It’s approaching 7am and the team meets the support crew who will be following along for the whole stage.  Despite their best attempts to listen to what Sarah is saying about the route, all attention falls on Helen the Medic and thoughts wander to unfortunate groin injuries that may occur later and the subsequent rubdowns that will be needed.  One point that does sink in though is the fact that Matt’s leg (stage 6) is having half a mile sliced off it.  Gav seemed to think it was his leg that was being shortened and the broad grin falters when he realizes that his leg is getting the extra half mile.

With Bruce all ready to kick start the day, a team photo is quickly organized by the famous signpost.  However, as the sign is constantly being nicked, the photo is just the team standing around a white pole with a hole in it.  Matt reveals his stash of special performance enhancing gel bars and takes the role of team dealer.

So, with Pru the Ewe in one hand and a Golden Baton in the other, Bruce sets off and this years Le Jog is underway.

The team support for each runner throughout the day is fantastic, but one element of it is not well thought out and Bruce becomes a guinea pig for the water stops.  After 3 miles Bruce appears over the horizon and it dawns on the team that he might want a drink.  The only thing that could be offered to him is a full 2 litre bottle of Tesco’s finest spring water.  With Bruce not wishing to break stride, the resulting ‘drink’ is more of a nose & eye rinse.  With Bruce asking for another checkpoint at mile 5, the water strategy was going to have to be revamped.  Meanwhile, Gavin slept in the car.

Bruce stormed through his 10.5 mile leg in 1hr 31mins and handed over to Itay.  Although not really that nice to poke fun at people whose first language isn’t English, Itay had amused everyone when he had enquired about Bruce’s pedometer.  His pronunciation came out more like pee-doe-meter and sounded like a device used for measuring certain types of criminals.  Bruce’s pedometer was definitely for measuring distance, and it showed an exact 10.5 miles as he finished his leg – spot on!

Itay cruised through 10.3 miles in 1hour 24mins, but the time came at a price as the vicious camber of the road made an assault on his left knee.  Despite the claims of agony there was no personal treatment offered by Helen the medic.  Meanwhile, Gavin slept in the car.

Fuelled on by a diet of Lucozade tablets &  a gel bar, James set off on leg 3 (9.4 miles) and adopted a running style that could only be described as that of ‘knackered man’.  However, this appearance was totally deceptive as James followed the trend set so far of posting a great time of 1hr 28mins.  It was a stage where the team also started wondering if the tandem would overtake us as Ian hade made great claims of finishing by 15:00 and being in the bar ready for the start of the England match – but so far no tandem.  Also, during leg 3, the incredible sleeping man awoke to claims of “I wasn’t sleeping” and started bouncing off the walls – was this energy burst going to waste and come back to haunt Gav later?

Stage 4 started with Rob taking the baton and it became a stage of firsts.  Within minutes of the handover, the first real hill of the day was encountered (although this would be overshadowed very soon).  It was also the first (and only) Tea Room of the day with the team all enjoying a break as Rob carried on wishing he had paid more attention to Itay’s camber warnings.  The stage ended with another long hill and a handover to Adam after 1hr 26mins gone and another 9.4 miles now covered.  As Adam disappeared down the road, Rob secured some treatment from Helen as blister plasters were administered and a precautionary metatarsal inspection was carried out.

With the dramatic coast line views now dominating the route, the team moved on to mile 7 ready for a water stop for Adam.  A rather nasty hill had already come and gone, and then it happened.  With the road sweeping around the coastline the next part of the route came into view.  The road plunged away and revealed a 13% climb lying in wait which, while it would flatten slightly, would remain an uphill climb for the next 2 miles.  In true team spirit a quick photo was organized with everyone pointing to the 13% sign and laughing.

Not wanting to let his team down, Adam mocked the 10.5 mile uphill beast and posted a time of 1hr 37mins which he then celebrated in true athlete style with a cigarette as he watched Matt start his leg on a nice down hill slope!  Still no tandem.

Matt was feeling it but still keeping a good pace as the team waited for him at mile 8.  Just as he was expected to appear an ambulance went screaming past in the direction of Matt.  After a few minutes of wondering if the ambulance had been destined for Matt (or maybe the tandem), Matt appeared with tales of nearly being killed by an Ambulance that was trying to overtake a juggernaut on a narrow road leaving no room for him!  Unshaken by his near death experience, Matt soldiered on to the end of his 9.4 mile stage in a time of 1hr 31mins where Gavin took up the challenge (in borrowed trainers coz his were about 10 years old).

At mile 3 of the final leg Gavin appeared for his water stop and went through a complete transformation.  As he arrived he looked spent and made claims of being “in pieces” and of having to walk most of it so far (This would have been world record breaking walking speed as he was currently averaging 8 minute miles).  Then, with the cheers of the team urging him on, he broke into his trademark cheesy grin and shouted “C’mon Me!” as he upped his pace and left the water station, subjecting us all to a mooney as he went.  The scene was repeated at the next water station as again the tales of mainly walking were told (yup, still 8 minute miles), the grin came back, and again the full moon was on display (which Adam admitted being strangely drawn to – not sure if that bit of info was supposed to stay ‘on tour’).

With 1 mile left of his 10.5 to go, the tandem finally overtook but a moral victory had been declared by the runners.  Ten minutes later Gav was on the final straight as he sprinted through the makeshift bog roll finishing line in a time of 1hr 30mins.

And so the first stage of Le Jog was done in a great combined time of 10hrs 27mins and the team looked forward to beer & footy and then more beer.

The early evening was spent sharing tales of the days events while supping a pint and enjoying the footy.  Well it was for almost everyone.  Gavin was still in his room going through his 3 hour getting ready routine which also involved ironing all his clothes despite no iron or ironing board coming as standard in the rooms.  Again, no one knew quite what he had to do to get it, but he was seen returning it to hotel manageress’ room in person.

With footy & dinner out of the way, the team headed off to sample the delights of Golspie.  A local pub was found and the pool table was strangely free.  The beer flowed and the frames rattled by (despite Gav insisting on setting up the balls manually rather than use the triangle for a reason only known to him).  The runners for the next day turned up and, with Sarah & Helen not turning up for drinks, the male attention turned to Cordelia with everyone willing to share tales of their heroics and offer advice for her run.  Unfortunately for Adam, the attention that he received was not from the female of the species but rather that of a very odd local who only seemed to be able to say “Yes” or “No” in a deep Scottish accent.  Like a limpet he attached himself to the team and was quickly challenging team members to a game of pool (when he wasn’t patting Adam’s arm).  Most seemed reluctant to offend the odd chap, but Bruce showed his mean streak as he refused to be beaten and dispatched him.

Five of the Seven stayed to kick out time (Itay & James went early and there were reports Itay phoned Sarah for ‘headache’ tablets at 12:15)

3^rd September

Golspie – 9:00am

A full English set the team up for the trip back to Inverness which involved some Colin McRae style driving from Matt as the team headed down the back roads looking for the day 2 team.

After a spell of supporting the day 2 team & the tandem crew, goodbyes were said to the support crew (Helen) and the team made its way to Inverness for lunch & then the flight home.

And so the adventure came to an end as the team split up and headed back down south to Bristol & London .  Never again may a team of such finely tuned athletes be assembled, and surely if they are they will not possess hair straightners amongst them. 

The aches may come & go in the days that follow, but the feeling of achieving something both personally & for charity whilst having a good time in the process will live on.