So once again I'll be puttin' on the foil, slippin' my noggin into my lid and pullin' on my wheels to head out onto the ice in the name of a good cause. Having done a fair bit for humans in my time it's over to the animal planet for this year's fund raising. Blue Cross do great things to help pets that stupid humans can't look after. This year I'll be donating my body to the cause for them!

You need to help me. Feel around down the back of the sofa, check the pockets of that old pair of jeans in the corner, slip a hand into your kids' money box and dig out a few pennies to donate to the cause. In return you get the joy and pleasure of seeing me shoved around on an ice rink.

How could you resist?

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