I thought I might shave my beard off for charity like Adrian Chiles does. But then I remembered that I look 14 years old without a beard and wouldnt be able to get served in pubs any more.
Then I thought I could kidknap Debbie McGee and hold her to ransom until Paul Daniels donated a million pounds to a charity of my choice. Then I felt bad for the magical odd couple because they haven't ever caused me any real harm, just mild irritation which I can and do live with.
So eventually I decided to run the Berlin Marathon on 25 Sep, so I could both keep my beard and leave Debbie McGee alone. Being honest I spend a lot of my time avoiding donation pages like this so feel free to skip off back to Facebook...
f you're still reading then I bow my head to you. I am raising money for a local charity based in Dalston, Hackney, where I live (this explains the ironic tone of the email). The charity is called Rhythms of Life and they provide free hot meals for homeless people and struggling families in Hackney and Islington. After witnessing the recent, absurd, self destructive behaviour of the rioters I remembered the importance of looking after and trying to make a positive contribution to your local area. Thats why I chose a local charity to help, rather than one of the blockbusters, you know them, the capitalist empires of Barnados and Cancer Research - those guys make me sick...
Anyway if we all club together we might be able to raise 0.5% of an average city banker's annual bonus, which could buy them a very sharp new suit, or could feed a small army of struggling people every day for a month.
It would admittedly be tempting to buy the suit, particularly as my old favourite has grass stains on the knees after an incident in June (don't ask).
If you're still reading now then, seriously, you might as well donate.
Thanks a grand, I promise to run fast,
Chris X
