So we all know the story by now don't we but I shall tell it again. 

Three years ago my daddio was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It was operated on and treated with radiotherapy which made my dad very very ill. That year I ran the Race for Life 5k and my dad who was in the height of his treatment came to cheer me on.  He beat his cancer and what a complete relief we had. I threw a surprise party for him and my mum and all of you beautiful people came and supported us. Life went back to normal and we were enjoying life again. My dad was in remission for one year. I ran the 10k Race for Life that year. 

However March 2015 came as a huge massive shock and tore my heart into pieces all over again when my dad told me that his cancer had come back and that it had spread. He also told me that it was only controllable. A year on I still have absolutely no idea what controllable means. How long is left. So many questions unanswered. Why is this happening to my dad again.  I've spent the whole of last year in denial and in tears and have tried to keep going on as normal. I ran the 10km Race for Life surrounded by family and friends and the emotions were running high. I made vest tops for us all to wear and surprise my family. I did it. I raised a lot of money and I was so grateful. However. This isn't a linear journey. There's no solid answers. Mine and my families lives feel like we are in limbo. I span into depression and it took me the best part of 8 months to get help. I'm only saying this because this is real life. And boy is it hard. Admitting that you are not okay is a very hard thing but you know what. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. 

My daddio has just had a biopsy. We are awaiting results of this as I type. All I can do is hope and pray that it is not the cancer coming around and destroying our lives even further. 

We then come on to January 2016. My grandad became ill. We found out he had a brain tumour and did not have long left. Now this was a huge shock to every single one of us. I was once again heart broken and felt as if someone just kicked me back down the massive mountain I has just started to climb on the way to feeling okay again. Now I was at my grandads side every single day until the day he died. I looked after him and comforted him. Held his hand and talked to him. I fed and watered him and I washed him. Love care and compassion for my wonderful funny and kind Grandad. He passed away on 2nd March 2016. That broke my heart. 

Cancer has broken mine and my families hearts too much over the last few years. Please help me to kick cancer to the curb and tell it to stop picking on people. It's a hard enough life as it is. 

Thank you so much to everyone that has helped me and my family through these last few years. You have no idea how thankful we are. 

Keep your head up keep your heart strong. 

Shona x