UPDATE: A huge THANK YOU to everyone who has donated and enabled me to exceed my £5k target.  I am immensely grateful.

If you would like to see the combined fundraising total towards the £40k target please visit www.justgiving.com/surreysands-royal-surrey .  Further donations would still be very welcome. 

James's page for his sponsored swim can be found at www.justgiving.com/surreysands-jamescook

June 2008:

Dear family, friends and supporters

As many of you know, we lost our longed for daughter, Emily Jane, on 7th December 2002.  She was 8 days late and I was in full labour when we discovered her heart had stopped beating.  We will never know why our little girl died, but that day changed our lives forever. 

Last year I volunteered through Surrey Sands, part of National Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity) to help Royal Surrey in its care and support of bereaved parents.  We are all volunteers, being part of a group that none of us wanted to belong to.  Run by bereaved parents for bereaved parents the group is totally self-funded with all monies raised going entirely on support services. 

Since March I have taken on a Committee role and am now the Hospital Liaison Co-ordinator covering 7 maternity units across the County.  In this, our 25th anniversary year, we have embarked on a very special Hospital Support Project to either refurbish or create a dedicated Bereavement Room in each hospital. 

It is crucial in those first few hours, or days, to be able to spend precious time with your baby creating memories that have to last an entire lifetime.  It is important to have a dedicated room cocooned away from the noise of happier arrivals to provide grieving parents with a sanctuary. 

At Royal Surrey, where Emily was born, there is an existing room called the ‘Alice Suite’ which is very close to the main maternity wards and is a small, rather clinical room.  The Hospital would like to create a new ‘Forget-Me-Not Suite’ providing a larger bedroom area, a proper en-suite bathroom and a nurses room so that baby can remain close to its parents.  We would also hope to provide space for Dad to sleep and for siblings to play.  The latest costings for this project are in the region of £40k.

We cannot bring our Emily back.  She is part of our family but just not with us in person.  Not a day goes by when we don’t think about her or wonder what she would be like at her age and what she would be doing.  It is difficult to describe the pain of losing a child for there is no word to describe it.  It lives with us forever.  Through my work with Surrey Sands I hope to bring some comfort to those who have to endure what we went through and in so doing make something positive come from something so tragic. 

If you would like to support me in creating a new ‘Forget-Me-Not Suite’ and give other parents a tranquil, private setting, I, and those to come, will be most grateful.  Your contribution will make a significant difference to a great number of families.

Thank you.
Wendy

For more information please visit:
www.surrey-sands.org.uk
www.why17.org

Note 1 - Royal Surrey is also raising money towards this project.  Any monies raised through this Justgiving page in excess of the amount required for the project will be donated to Surrey Sands to support other parents and hospitals within Surrey.

Note 2 - Donating through Justgiving is quick, easy and totally secure. It’s also the most efficient way to donate: Sands gets your money faster and, if you’re a UK taxpayer, Justgiving makes sure 25% in Gift Aid, plus a 3% supplement, are added to your donation.  All monies donated will go to Surrey Sands in aid of the ‘Forget-Me-Not Room’.  The Gift Aid element will be retained by National Sands to support their work which includes research into the causes of stillbirth.

There is no word……………………………….

A woman who loses her husband is called a widow.

A man who loses his wife is called a widower.

A child who loses its parents is called an orphan.

There is no word to describe a parent who loses a child, for there is no word to describe the pain.