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So why am I doing it you ask?

On 4th October 2009 my mother will celebrate her 70th birthday, so to celebrate her birthday and in memory of my Dad I will be taking part in the 'Rowers Revenge' Triathlon in Marlow. Apart from recognising this may be part of a mid-life-crisis, I promised myself that if I ever did something so daft I would make sure someone other than the event organiser’s benefits from my pain.

I have chosen the beneficiaries of your generous donations to be Thames Hospice Care, formerly Thames Valley Hospice. If you want to know why I have chosen this charity, please read on, if not, then thanks for your generosity I hope to see you when I get out of the oxygen tent.

On July 15th 1999, after a long and brave fight against Prostate Cancer, my Dad passed away aged just 70 and 3 months. He was more than a Dad, he was my best friend, losing him left a hole in my life that I have come to realise will never be healed or forgotten. There's barely a day goes by when I don't think about Dad, wishing he were there to share thoughts with and give advice.  Losing someone like him is something we never get over I think we simply learn to to live with it, by doing things like this in his memory I hope some day I may learn to live with it too.

During his illness Dad stayed a few times at Thames Hospice in , this allowed him to rest and gave him a change of scenery whilst providing a much needed break for my mother. The care and attention he received from the staff and the facilities they provided him were second to none. The surroundings and gardens are modern, spotlessly clean and the staff so understanding and supportive to both the guests and their relatives. All of this is provided purely on charitable donations and fundraising through various means. Without these donations this wonderful organisation could not exist.

None of us think this will ever happen to us or our loved ones, the fact is it does happen to all of us at some point. If illness means some respite care is required, then the service provided by Thames Hospice Care must be supported and allowed to continue.

For Dads funeral I put together a few words which knowing full well I would not be able to get to the end of, were read out by the vicar. If you didn't have the pleasure of meeting Dad these words will help you know the man.

Ken was born on 15 April 1929 in Flat 128, , Bethnal Green, .

Times were hard but this did not stop Ken enjoying his childhood. His antics were a common source for stories for his mother to tell. Times of roguish boyhood pranks that left market traders eggs broken and sprouts all over the ground because the barrel that they were in made good firewood.

The East End camaraderie and sense of community brought Ken and his parents through the war, just after which they moved to .

Ken served his national service in the Royal Air Force, stationed in the North East of England. During this time he learnt his trade as a welder and fabricator. A job he did until he retired and then beyond.

Ken eventually left the Air Force and moved back to the family home in . Ken found work on the newly formed Slough Trading Estate. His father became too ill to work and so Ken took on the role as provider for his mother and younger brother Brian (or Mick to some).

As times got easier Ken was able to get away for holidays in . He would zoom off with his mates in his Austin Seven and rough it for a few days. They slept in a state of the art canvas tent with a gap where the sides should have met the ground.

Many happy hours were spent sipping ale in The Royal Oak, Farnham Common. This is where he met the woman who he would later marry. However for Edith sometimes she may have wondered why. For example, one dark, windy and snowy night, Edith left home to walk to the Oak to meet Ken. She wore a bright Red raincoat. The sort you wouldn’t miss in a snowstorm. Except Ken, who in his keenness to get to the pub drove straight past leaving Edith to walk the remaining mile or so on her own.

Eventually Ken popped the question and on 11 November 1961, Edith and Ken were married. They moved to a flat over a shop in Burnham and began what can only be described as the perfect marriage, a feeling that Ken assured Edith of just recently. Together, they worked hard to build a home for themselves, and in December of 1963 their only child David, was born. Ken worked ever harder, enabling them to move to their house in Lent Rise where they have lived ever since.

Ken was the perfect husband and a more perfect father. Always caring, always supportive, always understanding and always there no matter what, even into David’s adult life. Ken could turn his hand to just about anything and with patients and a mutual love that will never die, he passed these skills to his son David who remains forever grateful and so proud of his Father.

Edith and David have many, many happy memories of holidays to Boscombe, day trips to and hour upon hour driving round looking for castles that, when found turned out to be no more than a pile of rubble.

The biggest light to come into Ken’s life was that of his granddaughter, Emily. His love for her and his absolute devotion to ensuring that she was spoilt rotten was tireless. He became affectionately known simply as Grandad to all Emily’s friends, and will be greatly missed for his kind and friendly games that he played with them all. Nothing made him happier than to have Emily and her friends playing in his garden.

Eventually Ken retired and aside from the odd bit of part time work he found himself with time on his hands. This meant that another small person was onto a winner, for Ken’s arrival also heralded a day of being spoilt and pampered. That person is Sam, David’s collie dog. Ken would arrive at David’s back door at 8.30 sharp every morning. Off they would go around Burnham chatting to other doggie walkers and becoming an inseparable team. During a spell in Hospital David took Sam to see his Grandad. The excitement and affection Sam showed towards Ken showed that Sam too, would never forget him.

As far as Ken was concerned, life is for living and is to be enjoyed. Even when he found out the full extent of his illness, he was never down. He had his family with him and if anything, once again he became their strength. He continued walking Sam, playing with Emily and pottering around in his shed making birdhouses and model aircraft. Even when this became no longer possible, Ken did not change. He always had a smile and a joke for the nurses and carers that looked after him.  Not once did Ken show a hint of bitterness or self-pity.

Ken brought a smile to the face of everyone he met. Everyone who knew him will know that he was the kindest, most loyal, most helpful and most loving person anyone could ever hope to meet. This, together with his strength and intelligence made him such a perfect husband, father and grandfather. His leaving has left a chasm that will remain with Ken’s family for a very long time. Whilst time, they say is the best healer, it will never allow Ken to be forgotten nor for his families love for him to fade.

Until we’re together again,

Love You Dad.

 Thankyou